Hollyoaks - The Best/Worst of Em

[indiegirl]

Soo, if you made it this far I'm assuming you too are a hollyoaks fan. Here you can discuss and debate about your most loved and hated characters with fellow hollyholics (pretty good, huh?!). So, enjoy.

[indiegirl]

come on people, anything'll do!

[Joel]

This all tends to take place in the main Hollyoaks thread, but the best is clearly Foz. Because of the hotness.

[indiegirl]

thank you! foz is my favourite too. and i know it goes on in there...but i'm new here...trying to get my bearings

[Geo]

I feel all naughty for talking bout the Hollyoaks in a new thread..It feels dirty.

Foz is obviously the choice for best as Mr Joel rightly said cos of the Hotness.
Valentines being the worst..but thats obvious.

[jode*]

Best:

Craig, Frankie, Sarah's dad & little sister, Michaela, Nancy, Rhys' mum, the students


Worst:

All the Owens, Jake, the slabface twins, all the Valentines, Tony.

[somethingbiblical]

Best: Mel but not Sophie, Dom for the virginity, definetly agree with you Jode on Sarah's dad, oh and obviously Tom.

Worst: The Valentines, Becca, Max

[jode*]

Oh i forgot about Tom! He beats them all.

[raspberry]

Best: Mel

Worst: Sophie

for great good twin / bad twin dynamics

[xenomaniac]

Are we talking ever? If so my top 5....

1. Mandy Richardson.
This is obvious. Mandy summed up everything I love about Hollyoaks. The girl was 100% Euripides but never looked less than 100% Aphrodite. Just standing next to her would make you look like the ugliest person in the world, but you'd still want her as your mate. The day she went made me sad, but remember she delivered Tom, so he therefore will take her place in a few years as a Hollyoaks legend.

2. Luke Morgan.
Fit. As. And he could act (yeah ok, sometimes). I wish they'd brought him back to whisk Mandy away when she left.

3. Carol Groves. She *needs* to come back and marry Tony! I can't believe she does those awful BBC3 "comedys", she is worth so much more. My favourite storyline ever was when she got psychic powers after her dog got run over.

4. Jude Cunningham. A bitch and a half, but nice with it. I kinda nearly picked Geri but Jude was the original.

5. Maddie Parker. One of my favourite original characters. I don't think they've done a decent black character since. And she was kidnapped by a man called Michael St John Thomas! (I hope there are others sad enough to remember stuff like this)

[laine]

Best - OB, Tom, Mr C, Old fun Tony, Mandy, Rob Hawthrone, Jambo, Cameron, Zara, Bella, Steph, Finn, Izzy,

Worst - Lisa, Abby, Becca, Justin, Ruth, Kurt, Olivia, The new family, Alex and I can't remember her name but the student with black hair when Tony rented out the apartments, Tony's mum

Quite liked - Brian the goth, Bombhead, Jez, Debbie Dean, Dan, Darren.

laine xx

[raspberry]

xenomaniac, I remember it all too.

Rob Hawthorn has to be up there as the orginal 'Oaks bad guy. He had the best death too - trying to escape from the burning bus, looking like the Human Torch!

[coxy1979]

Rob Hawthorne was the best. remember when he lured half the original cast onto a booby-trapped boat to enact his devious revenge. Mwah ha ha ha ha ha.

Best characters were/are Carol and Jambo, Tom, Rob Hawthorne.

Worst were Dawn (? - the one that died in Jambo's arms), the 'ugly' student with glasses, Ruth Osbourne and Sol's older sister who had a thing with Kurt.

[raspberry]

I loved Sol's older sister who had a thing with Kurt. Right up to the revalation that she had a long lost twin that led to an ambigous almost-incest storyline. That was awful.

Wasn't her name Kate? She got to cat fight with Ruth once or twice, unbelievably Ruth would win.

In tems of women in Kurt's life -
Best: Kate
Worst: Ruth

[ruthie]

I never thought I'd say it but I miss Zara. The present student types are a bit nothing.

And Bella was a possibly fantastic character, who was unaccountably dropped in favour of Danni. Who then got raped, as is the eventual fate of everyone on hollyoaks.

Bored at work, I've been looking at the channel 4 Hollyoaks site for some inspiration for this thread. Brilliantly, their Hollyoaks FAQ contains the question 'I really want to be an actor - where do I start', to which they are given the immortal advice

'Whatever you're doing, our casting team looks for people with talent and enthusiasm. Remember that it takes not only talent, but also determination – so stick at it!'

Acting talent? Hollyoaks? Strangely, advice that being unusally attractive, blonde, and willing to take part in scenes of a sexual assault would help was nowhere to be found.

And! OFFICIAL Hollyoaks T Shirts are available! Don't all rush at once...

[indiegirl]

I personally think that the fact that when you click on 'cast and characters' on the Hollyoaks website and you find that the characters have been alphabetized by their FIRST name sums Hollyoaks up for us all.

[SweatShop]

Oh, this is confusing. I'm the one that's "Indie Girl!" It's part of the whole franchise, ask Pop Boy. This is going to confuse people.

Oh, and I watched Hollyoaks for the first time last week. It's quite hard to undersand isn't it... if you just catch one episode. Very different from every other soap.

I used to watch it years ago when I was about 8. God knows what I thought was going on.

[Joel]

Okay of all time:
Best - Rob Hawthorne: So EVIL.
Lucy: because Kerrie Taylor absorbed all future and past acting talent from the Hollyoaks cast and performed incredible heroin-addict cold turkey scenes
Bazz: I had a gayboy crush on him. And still do.
Bella: Best potential character ever, axed unceremoniously even by soap standards.
Cameron: So lovely. So cute. So should have married Bella.
Mandy: Unluckiest Girl In History. Could actually act.
Foz: Hottttt.
Worst:
Mel and Sophie Lockjaw: respectively self-obsessed and self-righteous. Both 'orrible.
Tony: Like Ian Beale twenty years earlier
Nicole: Stupid Cabbage-Patch face
Sam/Liam: Having a small dick is not an excuse to rape people and the 'Good Rapist' angle was just unbelievably offensive
All The Valentines: They've been in it three weeks. They're just that bad.

[Cherubic]

Bella and Cameron were the golden couple that never were. I wanted to see their comedy wedding where he finally told his parents to fuck off. I wanted some marrital difficulty during a pregnacy, resolved when they couldn't get to the hospital in time and he ended up delivering the baby demonstrating that he loved her more than OCD. I wanted him to get the proffessional career his brains entitled him to and her to run some major fashion empire from the flat above Drive and Buy and then for them to leave as a happy young family in a convertable.

I've thought about this too much.

I always had a special loathing of the Burton Taylors. All of them.

[skillex]

Best: Undoubtedly Lucy and Bazz. Those were the days when the 'Oaks had the occasional actor in it and a FitGay (well, or so I thought at the time, anyway). The whole "Rob Hawthorne suspending people in a shipping tank for a week" was good/bad too.

Worst: Sooooooo many to choose from. Too many in fact, to fit on the entire internet, I suspect.

[thelovelykate]

I'm afraid I was a big fan of Andy the evil rapist. This was mainly due to the genius late night episode where he

1. dressed the twins up in Santa outfits as a Christmas gift for Sam

2. smashed Mel round the face with a bedside lamp

I think he may later (after he returned from the dead) have battered both Russ and Sam with a metal pole.

I wish he'd come back from the dead again and batter Becca with a metal pole. I hate that bitch.

[Robbing the Dead]

How can you hate Becca?! She is the world's ideal woman: She is intelligent and nice and somehow very attractive despite having an ugly pointy face. Yes, she has made mistakes but that just makes her human; I mean, who hasn't got gonorrhea in their throat, aborted their dead boyfriend's baby and shagged their 16 year old pupil?

I think Chez Becca would be the best house for me to live in. I could perve over Foz and Justin all day, bitch about everyone to Nancey and have long meaningful chats with Becca.

[[james]]

boydsbummerbuddy said:

I mean, who hasn't got gonorrhea in their throat, aborted their dead boyfriend's baby and shagged their 16 year old pupil?

I think I can safely raise my hand on that one.

[thelovelykate]

"How can you hate Becca?!"

I hate her for many reasons but probably top is that before she got her paedo mitts on him I really liked Justin. He was all brooding and getting into mischief such as smoking cannabis and pushing his bitch stepsister through glass windows (Yeah! Go Justin!). Now she has made him as wet as she is. Rubbish.

Also my sister has always hated Becca on the slightly unreasonable grounds that she has very thin hair.

[WhiteNoiseMaker]

Even though I've finally started to almost enjoy Hollyoaks, there is not one character in the entire show's history who I liked. Not one. And I find it next to impossible to remember any of their names.

Still watch it of course - now and then they do actually manage to have some attractive female types on it, especially now the 'blonde every twenty seconds of screentime' rule seems to have been relaxed. And there's often a nice bit of ishoo related stuff, like the Strawberry fiasco.

OH NO! I forgot! I used to love that guy who used to be in Out Of Tune on Children's BBC. We used to chant 'Street Street Street' whenever he came on. Because that was his name in Out Of Tune, obviously. Simple pleasures.