So...

[Steven]

...now it's all over, here's an idea. Say you were in the house this year. Looking at it objectively, who would you have been friends with? Who wouldn't you have been friends with? What would you have done? Try to use your gut reactions to everyone here, as that's all you would've had to go with at the time without the benefit of press coverage/edited highlights, etc.

For example, I would probably have been friendly towards Lea, Pete, Aisleyne (if not necessarily right away), Bonnie and Imogen. I would have avoided Grace, Mikey, Sezer, Shahbaz and Lisa like the plague. I would have probably sat down with Nikki on more than one occasion and told her to grow the fuck up. I think Richard would have loathed me. I would like to have think that I would've told Grace that I would cut her, but I probably would've sat in the corner with Jennie or Bonnie or someone equally unmemorable and told them instead that I would cut a bitch, and Grace would be that bitch. At one point I probably would've drunk too much and told Grace that I considered her the justification for flesh-wasting diseases, and then spent the whole of the next day in the diary room talking about how I shouldn't have said that, even if it was true.

Anybody else?

[Cherubic]

I have nothing to add but I'm very disappointed you weren't there.

[Floss]

To my eternal shame, I'd probably have bonded with Grace in the beginning -- she seemed fairly intelligent, and bitchy in a funny way. I suppose that makes me a bit like Imogen, but with worse hair.

I'd have avoided Lisa like the plague, rolling my eyebrows at my reflection in the kitchen mirrors every time she spoke. The same probably goes for Jayne, Lea and Spiral... Actually, I'd have tried my best to shame Spiral into leaving. It wouldn't have been hard.

Glyn would have felt intimidated by me because of my 'posh' education (I read an encyclopaedia once). He would also have hated me for pointing out that Mikey was a tosser who was in no way a suitable role-model for the first Welsh prime minister of the UK.

Depressingly, the people most like me in terms of age and background would have been Richard, Jennie, Susie (and possibly Imogen). I'd like to think I could fit in with Aisleyne, Imogen and Pete - but in reality I'd probably have been dull, sensible, and intellectually stunted by the inanity of the rest of the housemates.

[parsnip]

out of all of them? Probably that rat.

[I Hate Lana Lang]

Lea and Aisleyne and Imogen. I would have absolutely hated Grace. I'm a good judge of character.

[Joel]

I like to think I'd have bonded with Aisleyne and danced around the garden singing Buffalo Stance. I'd get on with Suzie and probably with Richard.
At some point I'd have pulled Nikki aside and explained to her the difference between 'good attention' and 'bad attention.'

[xenomaniac]

I think I'd have been drawn to Imogen and Bonnie at first, as they were both fairly quiet like me and seemed nice.

I'm pretty sure that I'd have found the whole Grace situation absolutely hilarious inside but would have kept her at arms length.

Richard would probably loath me. And that would suit me fine if he left me alone.

Sezer was obviously a moron from the start. Pete would have driven me up the wall, same with Lisa.

Lea would be a grower, as I'd have to overcome the feeling that she was a bit dirty.

Aisleyne would probably have come across as a bit of a stereotype at first but I would end up liking her when her real self came through. Suzie would love me and make me endless cups of tea.

I would most likely have jumped on George.

[pauliepoos]

I'd probably have done a George and buggered off rather quickly, but Aisleyne would have been my saviour had I stayed. I'd have had enjoyed my early morning chats with her and Susie and occasionally Richard, although I'd have a love hate relationship with him.

I'd have sussed Mikey out as a manipulative bullying little ponce and reminded him constantly that everything he did was for the cameras, knowing full well I was doing that myself.

Glyn would have done my head in with his nationalism and I'd have had lots of arguments where I'd patronise him repeatedly.

[back to discos]

I would have run and hid in the garden, cowering and muttering Smiths lyrics to myself to take me to my Happy Place the minute I clapped eyes on Sezer.

[raspberry]

I think I might have sex-pested George, so perhaps it was best I wasn't there.

[Nurse Dunkley]

raspberry said:

I think I might have sex-pested George, so perhaps it was best I wasn't there.

Very much so. Although I'd have been a good friend to him and he would have stayed just so he could spend some time with me.

Christ, I would have been Craig.2 (with less breasts and less shit hair).

I'd have also befriended Susie, Imogen, Michael, Pete, Nikki, Lea, Jennie and Sam. It's hard to say though, since folk may not like me or act differently in person.

If Richard had called me "she" then I'd have gobbed on him.

[Robbing the Dead]

I would have been removed for violence. Proabably against Lisa.

[Lucinda]

My post got eaten yesterday, but I think I generally would have stayed away from the plastics and gotten on alright with Aisleyne (I definitely would've danced around to Buffalo Stance with her too, Joel!), Pete, Jennie, Bonneh, Imogen (ok, she was a plastic, but I think once Grace was out I would've had the chance to bond with her), Richard and Susie. Sezer and Grace, definite no-nos. Nikki, Lea, and Glyn somewhere in the middle.

I would've had Sezer sussed out after one conversation and avoided him for most of my time there. I avoid sleazy guys who love themselves in real life too, so it wouldn't be any different in there. Would've shaken his hand when he got evicted and wished him luck, but later pissed myself laughing thinking back to the moment he got evicted.

Similarly I like to think I would have known Grace was a bit snide and bitchy and I probably would have befriended and stuck up for anyone she went after, because I've known plenty of girls like her. I would've bitten my lip to stop myself laughing at "GET GRACE OUT!" moments, but would secretly have been thrilled.

I can see myself chatting to Susie politely about unimportant things, never having any arguments with her, but not really being that close to her either. I reckon I'd be laughing with Richard a lot (I have a couple of guy friends that remind me of him, except they're straight...), and he'd be good to discuss Mean Girls and Heathers and other quality films with.

I've probably forgotten some of them, but there were about 57 housemates this year and I can't think.

[smellslikesomeghost]

I think that I would have shared mutual loathing with Lisa and Sezer. I think I would have chatted happily and bitchily to Nikki, Aisleign, Grace and Imogen. I can't actually tell who out of them I would have really liked. Mikey would have made me laugh and feel girly despite me hating the sexism and general toss potness of him, it would have been his height that'd make me coy.
Spiral and I would have argued immediatley. Jayne repulsed me and I would not have been able to cope with the burps. I'd have been polite to Glyn but distant. Michael would possibly have been good company, but then again I could have hated the jesus gabble.
I would have befriended Pete, and got on with Richard. I'd have found Suzie dull but we'd have been polite. I'd chat to Lea but her anal jelly cock stoies would have made me cool towards her.

[raspberry]

boydsbummerbuddy said:

I would have been removed for violence. Proabably against Lisa.

I think Lisa might have been removed for violence against me - I could imagine her attacking me after I failed to mask my intense dislike of her Manc/manic ways.

[Essexgirl]

I would have got on with Aisleyne from when she first arrived as she had a head on her shoulders. However, I didn't like her the week before she got 'evicted' and we would have fallen out. I would probably have got on with Dickie and Susie being of a similar age, also Lea up until she started to get all pathetic. I would never have got on with Lisa, even though she looks my age, not Jayne becasue there is no excuse for bad manners. I might even have got on with Nikki at the beginning. Spoiral will have had a go at me for looking at him with my 'smart face' as I am not very tolerant of idiots. I don't think I'd have bothered even talking to half of the others thus they'd all nominate me and I'll go out in the first or second week if I hadn't already been thrown out for an act of violence toward Shebaz.

I like to think I would have spoken up to Dickie/Sezer when they bullied Shabaz as I was uncomfortable watching it, but I don't know if I would have been that confident surrounded by loads of strangers in that environment. I think I may have said something to Grace, but she would probably have been very select about who she bitched to, so I would probably have been quite oblivious to how bad she was as I wouldn't have spent any time with her anyway.

[Essexgirl]

I forgot Pete! How telling is that?!

I think I wuld have got on with him fine as his is quite inoffensive but I don't think we'd be that close. I also would have got on OK with Glyn as he could be quite (unintentionally) funny.

[SweatShop]

I'm female and a boring twat on the most part. No time to make friends with anyone. Out first week!

[somethingbiblical]

Imogen - I would have been pals with her, she would make you feel good about yourself when she always agreed with your points, haha

Aisleyne - I'm not sure what I would have made of her for the most part, I think I'd like her at the start and end but with a dip in the middle but if I made it to the end I'm sure I'd definetly have been close with her, and while her crying would piss you off in person, I really don't think I would have done a Jennie, I would have just let her get on with it.

Richard - I would have liked him and spoken with him a bit but not been in his little crowd

Grace - I would probably have thought her bitching was funny until Aisleyne came and she started calling her a whore and stuff which I really think is just horrible.

Sezer - I would have given him as many dirty looks as humanly possible in the short time he was there, and told Richard and Lea not to worry as I would have known Sezer would definetly be evicted. And I would have tried to warn Imogen off him.

George - I wouldn't have spoken much to him

Dawn - nor her

Shahbaz - I would have just ignored him, I wouldn't steal his clothes but I wouldn't try and comfort him, I'd just feel mildly disgusted.

Susie - I would have had some nice chats but left her to her tea mostly.

Sam - I would have tried to look after her a bit cause none of the rest of them seemed to give a shit.

Spiral - I would have laughed openly in his face every time he rapped or basically spoke, which would probably cause an argument.

Jayne - I would have just pulled disgusted faces in the mirror when she burped and probably not spoken to her much either.

Michael - I think we would have a love-hate relationship. He wasn't that bad but he said some REALLY wanky things.

Bonnie - I think we would have bonded in week one because I don't think I'd have made friends easily either.

Lea - I think we would have bonded in the start and then kind of just stopped talking after a while.

Lisa - her smoking and her voice would really irritate me, I would have absolutely revelled in Richard's impression of her that night, that would have been the best night for me probably, haha

Mikey - I think I would have just been so-so with him, probably like how Aisleyne was, I would have a laugh with him, but I would know he was an arse and wouldn't really bother to much about him.

Pete - I would probably have had an Aisleyne style relationship with him too, hug him and chat with him and stuff but not fall head over heels or think he was completely amazing, or get jealous. He'd just be Pete.

Glyn - I would have got on with Glyn I think. I think in person I would have found him cute and funny, whereas from watching him I've thought he was a bit of an arse. But I would have tried to teach him not to follow Mikey's advice on ANYTHING.

Nikki - I would have tried to stay away from her so as to make life easier before she was evicted, because I would have thought she was in it for the long run and wouldn't want to cause a scene, but after she came back I would have seen right through her fake tantrums, because they were so obviously staged, and would have told her to calm it about that.


Is that it? Christ there's a lot of them.

I think I would have been like Jennie, had a few little disagreements but nothing major, and no one would hate me but no one would love me either.

[Sean]

I hate to say it but I think I would have gotten on well with Grace, at least at first. But I would have hated Mikey, Sezer and Glyn, and not have been able to hide it well and thus incur her bile. I would have been bezzy mates with Aisleyne- we could sing Dizzee Rascal, Neneh Cherry and other pseudo ghetto classics in the Sun before snaking our necks at wannabe rude girls and cackling at Lea's tits.

Ahem.

I would have hated, HATED Nikki and alienated myself from the rest of the house by not finding myself capable of tolerating her dumbass tantrums, I would have hated HATED Michael and his dumbass 'spirituality' rubbish, I would have been deeply unamused by everything Jayne, I would probably have disliked Richard and his constant patronising manner, and by week five or so everyone would hate me and my snappy belligerent ways.

I would have tried to take Sam and Bonnie under my wing, I would have found Pete an utter bore and been very passive aggressive about taking the piss out of his cowardice at every opportunity, and I would not be able to stop myself from laughing at Spiral all the time in a rather nasty manner.

I just know I would be hated on Big Brother. I'm not a bad person but the people they put on there, I simply could not tolerate.

[Sean]

Oh and I forgot to mention that I would have befriended Shahbaz, just to be contentious.