Chronicles of Narnia: Lion, Witch and Wardrobe

[si]

I'm guessing from the lack of thread on Narnia, no one else thought much of it either?

Good = Tilda Swinton, James McAvoy

Bad = most everything else?

Poor CGI, dull direction, irritating children. Huge disappointment.

[Deleted]

The kids were annoying, especially Peter. I thought most of the CGI was okay, although the battle scenes left a lot to be desired. What I was most unimpressed with, actually, were the costumes pre-CGI - the animal fur on the fauns and centaurs looked stuck on with glue and was in a very bizarre pattern.

I did actually quite enjoy it, and it doesn't suffer from repetition and evident edit-cutting the way the Harry Potter films do, but it's still not brilliant.

[Joel]

Tilda Swinton was fucking awesome. The costumes were great. The kids looked right, and spoke right, but couldn't really act (except Susan.)
The CGI animals were as good as you could expect.
The music was appalling. They made Susan into a right bitch.
I quite wanted to bum Peter.

[Anna]

It was pretty good, although lacking in any real depth and pace (character development etc). A few of the nice little touches from the book that have stayed with me since I last read it about 12 years ago were missing.
I thought the Lucy was ace and Edmond was OK. All the others were as bad as Ron Weasly. Although Susan is Big Suze at the end! I almost stood up and clapped.
The CGI was actually pretty damn good, except for the fox for some reason, who was rubbish.

[jode*]

I haven't seen it yet, but I've seen all the kids in interviews. The little Lucy girl is a stage school bint, but Edmund (older in interviews) definitely has potential. If I was 12...

[pauliepoos]

I didn't think it was nearly as bad as I'd expected it to be, but agree it was lacking something.

I thought the 4 kids were all quite acceptable even if Lucy did remind me of Ann Widdecombe throughout. Peter is going to be a super buff hottie when he's older and did quite a good job, and I'm glad Edmund was fleshed out so that his actions weren't shown to be as black and white as good or bad.

And was it wrong to be attracted to Oreius, the half man, half horse, who had an incredibly buff body? If you google image Patrick Kake you can see just how buff he is.

[Robbing the Dead]

I just got back from seeing it. People were laughing at everything Lucy said cos she was shite and weird looking. I did enjoy it, it was really good, but at the same time it was shite.

The Witch was FABULOUS!

Peter was so annoying and when he was crowned "King Peter the Magnificent", people laughed. Then when they all appeared as adults, and we first saw grown up Peter the whole cinema errupted in hysterical laughter.

[jode*]

boydsbummerbuddy said:

Peter was so annoying and when he was crowned "King Peter the Magnificent", people laughed. Then when they all appeared as adults, and we first saw grown up Peter the whole cinema errupted in hysterical laughter.

Were you in my cinema? I really couldn't help myself laughing at these two bits.

I thought Lucy was great. All of the kids were ok. Ok, I know Edmund was 12, but he was proper cute. Aslan was RUBBISH! I much prefer two guys in a lion suit than that crap CGI. And he was too small.


It was good, but I've studied the book/seen the BBC one too many times, and it's exactly the same, so a bit boring...

[klee]

anna said:

It was pretty good, although lacking in any real depth and pace (character development etc).

I would have thought that was a hangover from the books which, like Tolkien, can tell a story but can't round out a character.

Seeing the actor who plays Peter in interviews is hilarious. Clearly picked as a piece of tweenie totty with a passing resemblance to Charlie Simpson. There he is, spots airbrushed out (bastard!), hair straightened to within an inch of its life...

Is Anna Popplewell (Susan) related to Lulu Popplewell? She's another child actress who was really good in the adaptation of His Dark Materials on Radio 4.

Mmmm, Patrick Kake.



And Patrick Kake vital statistics too!

Patrick Kake
actor
height
chest 42'
waist 33"
hips -
collar
shoe 12
hair Brown
eyes Brown
neck 15 1/2'
back of neck to waist 20'
waist to knee 23"
waist to floor 44"
across back 17 1/2"
shoulder 16 1/2"
shoulder to elbow 15"
outside arm 23"
wrist 7 1/2"
outside leg 40"
inside leg 33"
knee to ankle 18"
around ankle 9 1/2"
around calf 16"
around knee 16"
around thigh 23 1/2"
back neck to bust -
around head 22"
centre back to wrist 35"

[Adrian]

Hung like a horse too.

A

[thomasj]

Tilda Swinton is a fucking goddess. She could act anyone off the screen so its hardly a suprise she stole the billions of pounds effects' thunder even without no make up (yes she really is that pale.)

[Nurse Dunkley]

I was underwhelmed throughout. Where did all the budget go? On catering?

The Narnia sets all looked so studio-based and it was hard to believe that the CGI was done by the same people as that of Lord of the Rings.

Yes, Tilda was good as Jadis, but she was far too understated for my liking. Just one scene of scenery chomping could have made her a far more fearsome and believable villain. Plus her clothes were a bit shit, and did nothing for her figure.

And I know it's a Disney film, but how sanitised did it all have to be? The battle was shockingly shonky as a result.

A more experienced director should have been picked. It's a damn shame because the stories have potential to make killer films.

Peter was ridiculously pretty though. And a bit of IMDBing tells me he's my age, so I can stop feeling pervy. Smashing.

[Robbing the Dead]

Oooh Peter! He is 18. And at the premiere he looks even nicer. Does sound like he has a plum in his throat though, but I'm sure I could dislodge it with something.

[Deleted]

Peter was a cunt! A total, total cunt. I was totally with Edmund throughout on this one. If I had an older brother who behaved like such a raving dickhead I'd go off with Tilda Swinton too.

Also Lucy broke an adult tooth during the filming and it totally fucked continuity whenever she opened her mouth. This kept me amused throughout.

[frap]

The Chronicles are my favourite things in the world. Siriusly. (sic). And I was so disappointed with this. I hated sitting in the cinema and having people laugh the whole way through, because it wasn't meant to be funny. I hated how lacking I felt Jadis/Tilda was in presence. I hated Susan (but then I've never liked Susan). I hated the changes they made, introduction of characters that weren't there in the first place, changes in plot. I hated the baddies, because they looked like they were made of papier mache. I hated that the beavers didn't get Christmas presents. Mostly I hated that people laughed. Because I was sitting there absorbed. And it shows how bad it was that the laughing thing is happening everywhere, and not just where I was (I wasn't sure at the time if it was because it was bad or that people just hadn't read the book). I agree that it looked like a set based production. It made Narnia look small. I hope, if they make more, they'll improve like Harry Potter has (apart from the dreadful Emma Watson). I hope the CGI improves, and that the script is better and more sparky.

Jim Broadbent was fab, though.

[David Hunter]

This got a round of applause at my cinema! I thought it was all right. I hate most CGI films and was glad they hadn't overdone it on this movie.
The thing that amused me most though was that Peter grew up to look like a 70s porn star!

[klee]

Having seen this on Christmas Eve, I was forced to telegram Santa and change my list. Instead of a blender and a Madonna album for Christmas, I asked for a grown-up Peter in a box wearing a pair of festive boxer shorts.

Sadly, my present was already in transit by then.

Oh, this pissed me off as much as the books do. So very very sexist (did Susan do anything except whinge and shoot the dwarf, who irritated me almost as much as when he was an Oompa Loompa. Lucy didn't so much act as just gape in terror throughout the proceedings and, as for Peter.... I stand by my earlier tweenie totty comments, but quite why he had to be such an insufferable prig I do not know.

Tilda Swinton stole that film for me. I loved how she became more 'savage chic' as it went on, though she did die a truly rubbish death (don't show any blood - it's a Christian movie).

In all, however, the pseudo-Christian (read muscular Republican Christianity of the narrowest kind) made me want to sacrifice a goat in the front row. Roll on His Dark Materials.

[Robbing the Dead]

davidhunter said:

The thing that amused me most though was that Peter grew up to look like a 70s porn star!

This was what caused the entire cinema to burst into hysterics when I saw it.

[pauliepoos]

boydsbummerbuddy said:

davidhunter said:

The thing that amused me most though was that Peter grew up to look like a 70s porn star!

This was what caused the entire cinema to burst into hysterics when I saw it.

When I saw the grown up Peter I thought "oh, it's him from Emmerdale and Holby City".



There's a lovelier photo of him with his crown (and not much else) on IMDB but I couldn't link to it.

[Ugly Netty]

Isn't that Fabio, with his hair cut?

[toby3000]

klee said:

In all, however, the pseudo-Christian (read muscular Republican Christianity of the narrowest kind) made me want to sacrifice a goat in the front row. Roll on His Dark Materials.

How is it 'Muscular Republican Christianity'? Besides the fact that the Christian references come form the book (and most children never pick up on them), but the Christain allergory is of the most basic and traditional sort; man tempted to sin, but through own actions redeamed by sinless God sacrificing himself who truimphs over death. Hardly 'Republican' or indeed any other denomination

[klee]

toby3000 said:

How is it 'Muscular Republican Christianity'? Besides the fact that the Christian references come form the book (and most children never pick up on them), but the Christain allergory is of the most basic and traditional sort; man tempted to sin, but through own actions redeamed by sinless God sacrificing himself who truimphs over death. Hardly 'Republican' or indeed any other denomination

As in sexually repressive faith is a war and nothing else other than this narrow creed will take you anywhere near Heaven.

Read the later books for some less subtle hints as to what C S Lewis thought of (especially female) sexuality. Susan is treated horribly for having the temerity to grow up.

It's not the sacrifice that makes it 'muscular' it's the fact that it's wrapped up in a divine war which is far more Old Testament than new.

Also, the arbitrary crowning of the 'Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve' brings up a whole other set of distasteful issues around the concept of divinely sanctioned dictatorships being the best form of government.

I should add that I think the same things about Lord Of The Rings (though that was significantly better made) in ideological terms. Read 'black' instead of 'orc' and the books take an insidious turn.

[jode*]

klee said:

I should add that I think the same things about Lord Of The Rings (though that was significantly better made) in ideological terms. Read 'black' instead of 'orc' and the books take an insidious turn.

I disagree. The Lord of the Rings' representation of Black and White is about actual colour not colour of skin. Think black witches/dark magic/darkness = bad, and white witches/light = bad. Night versus day, scary versus nice.

The orcs to me just represent basic archetypical evil therefore they are dark coloured, tend to attack at night etc...

Not that Tolkien wasn't a technophobic racist bastard - he probably was - it's just that I think the Lord of the Rings only took this particular theme from myth - good (white) vs evil (black).


Lewis meanwhile... was definitely on a crusade to turn little kids into bible bashers.

[Robbing the Dead]

jode said:

klee said:

I should add that I think the same things about Lord Of The Rings (though that was significantly better made) in ideological terms. Read 'black' instead of 'orc' and the books take an insidious turn.

I disagree. The Lord of the Rings' representation of Black and White is about actual colour not colour of skin. Think black witches/dark magic/darkness = bad, and white witches/light = bad. Night versus day, scary versus nice.

The orcs to me just represent basic archetypical evil therefore they are dark coloured, tend to attack at night etc...

Not that Tolkien wasn't a technophobic racist bastard - he probably was - it's just that I think the Lord of the Rings only took this particular theme from myth - good (white) vs evil (black).


Lewis meanwhile... was definitely on a crusade to turn little kids into bible bashers.

There is actually evidence that Orcs were meant to be black people.

Weren't Oompa Lumpa's originally black people and not little orange men.

[klee]

Then there's also the books' open racism when it comes to the way men are represented.

Anyone who is not whiter than pasteurised milk is referred to as "swarthy" and in league with Sauron.

Bad bad Tolkien. And to think he wrote Lord Of The Rings while World War II was going on.