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Post by shutupjudy on Aug 11, 2007 9:02:49 GMT
What is the strangest letter you have read being sent to a Dear Deidre or similar tabloid problem page.
I read one, in the hallowed pages of Dear Deidre's column itself, one about a man who used to strip naked on webcam, and his wife would get a thrill seeing other women react to his body.
I find that odd, but then again, what goes on behind closed doors in the Finnigan- Madeley household is entirely their own business.
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boxedjoy
Su Pollard
Don't you wish your snack was as tempting as this?
Posts: 369
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Post by boxedjoy on Aug 22, 2007 18:19:27 GMT
Yesterday's was funny. "I went off with this man, who had a big willy, and I took a picture of it and showed all my pals, and now he's shagging seven of us. He's the best lover I've ever had, and I don't use a condom because (this is a serious quote) 'I like it bare'. However I want him all to myself: should I stop taking the pill so I fall pregnant and he has to stay with me and his child?"
Yes, because this is 1730. Deidre's advice actually was "This man is a big dick in more ways than one."
Just Joan in the Daily Record is better: she dishes it out like it really is to stupid cunts. I once saw a letter from a woman who went on the sick after being too embarassed to work because she farted loudly in a lift.
I saw one in More magazine from a woman who had an electric toothbrush stuck inside her. She hadn't been to the doctor, or sat down it seems.
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Post by Nurse Dunkley on Aug 22, 2007 19:31:03 GMT
I saw one in More magazine from a woman who had an electric toothbrush stuck inside her. She hadn't been to the doctor, or sat down it seems. For a good five minutes I imagined the lady with the tooth brush stuck in her mouth, making her look like some sort of Cherie Blair-letterbox combination. My innocence surprises me sometimes. I get all my Agony Aunt needs from Mrs Mills in the back pages of The Sunday Times' Style magazine. That said, she has gotten increasingly more rubbish with every update of her picture (she used to be a 40s housewife, now she's a cigarette holder holding business type), and she now seems to offer more actual advice instead of laying into the folk who write in and trying to shoehorn in sexual innuendos.
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boxedjoy
Su Pollard
Don't you wish your snack was as tempting as this?
Posts: 369
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Post by boxedjoy on Aug 22, 2007 21:36:06 GMT
I think it says more about my perversions that I thought that it would be obvious enough.
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skillex
Su Pollard
World Happiness Dance?
Posts: 258
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Post by skillex on Aug 23, 2007 20:07:52 GMT
Just Joan in the Daily Record is better: she dishes it out like it really is to stupid cunts. Having said that, I do find Joan Burnie to be a vile harridan. She further un-endeared (umm, real word? no?) herself to me in the Clause 28/Section 2a debate when I seem to recall she was keen to keep it.
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Post by jetsetwilly on Aug 23, 2007 20:22:26 GMT
I like Doctor Miriam Stoppard in the Mirror. Largely because I like saying "Doctor Miriam Stoppard". I don't know why.
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Post by lowculture.co.uk on Aug 23, 2007 21:33:30 GMT
Just Joan in the Daily Record is better: she dishes it out like it really is to stupid cunts. Having said that, I do find Joan Burnie to be a vile harridan. She further un-endeared (umm, real word? no?) herself to me in the Clause 28/Section 2a debate when I seem to recall she was keen to keep it. Just Joan? Like fuck she is.
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Post by Bungle on Aug 23, 2007 22:19:51 GMT
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Post by Sweet Sweet Mimura on Aug 24, 2007 18:18:15 GMT
The Sport's Agony Angels are the best, if only for the ingeneous way they turn any problem into a two-paragraph sex story.
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Post by francopopfille on Aug 25, 2007 14:58:20 GMT
Just Joan in the Daily Record is better: she dishes it out like it really is to stupid cunts. Her problem page for kids "Joan's Juniors" on a Monday is unbelievably callous sometimes. Every answer is basically "you are a stupid young child and everything you do has been wrong up to this point. Obey your parents, even if you think they're being shit. Now shut up and be a good girl". She's also one of the "kissing someone means you have had sex" crowd. Moaning bitch.
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boxedjoy
Su Pollard
Don't you wish your snack was as tempting as this?
Posts: 369
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Post by boxedjoy on Aug 25, 2007 15:17:29 GMT
In fairness, they are all stupid young children. There are too many ugly children with their own ugly children in Glasgow.
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Post by francopopfille on Aug 25, 2007 21:24:42 GMT
In fairness, they are all stupid young children. There are too many ugly children with their own ugly children in Glasgow. Fair point. What's more worrying in the problems is the ignorance of some of them- of the "we didn't use a condom because you can't get pregnant the first time" variety.Or "my boyfriend told me it was sherbet dib dab but it was actually coke." The normal Just Joan isn't as evil, mind you, and the problems sent in are usually more fun.
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skillex
Su Pollard
World Happiness Dance?
Posts: 258
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Post by skillex on Aug 26, 2007 20:29:15 GMT
I remember a particularly offensive "Just Joan" column was a few years back. Shortly after she and that rag the Daily Record had opposed Wendy Alexander getting rid of Section 28, someone sent in a letter saying her daughter was devastated that Stephen Gately was gay. Joan offered her customary advice counselling her on the difficulties of growing up.
Clearly then Joan Birnie reckons that a teenager dealing with the fact a member of boyband whom they have likely never met is gay is a problem needing dealt with more than a teenager dealing with the fact that he or she actually is gay.
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Post by francopopfille on Aug 26, 2007 21:28:19 GMT
I remember a particularly offensive "Just Joan" column was a few years back. Shortly after she and that rag the Daily Record had opposed Wendy Alexander getting rid of Section 28, someone sent in a letter saying her daughter was devastated that Stephen Gately was gay. Joan offered her customary advice counselling her on the difficulties of growing up. Clearly then Joan Birnie reckons that a teenager dealing with the fact a member of boyband whom they have likely never met is gay is a problem needing dealt with more than a teenager dealing with the fact that he or she actually is gay. Was it a positive response or a negative one (e.g.: "it's not your fault" versus "stop being so stupid")? Every response I see has some element of admonishment in it, no matter how dire/ relatively minor the problem is. Even the ones along the lines of "I've been throwing up my meals for the past 6 months ever since I was brutally beaten by a gang of neds at school" receive a reply implying that this problem is just a phase and/or caused by the kid's weakness/fecklessness/ selfishness. There's usually a "phone this number for help" line, but I think it always sounds begrudged. It would have been interesting to see her response if the Gately kid actually did write in saying " I think I am gay" after the Section 28 thing. Do they either: stick to the paper's agenda and go "ewwwwww EVIL" or, at the risk of being seen as hypocritical, go "it's ok to be gay"? I'd guess "It's ok to be gay (but we don't want you near us trying to tell us about it)". Miserable bitch.
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skillex
Su Pollard
World Happiness Dance?
Posts: 258
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Post by skillex on Aug 27, 2007 17:08:54 GMT
I can't really remember the details of the reply but I'm sure there was some degree of "telling off". I think the letter was actually from the Gately fan's Mum, so Joan told her how emotionally attached teenagers can get to slebs and gave her some kind of "bringing up teenagers" helpline detail.
I strongly suspect that the paper just wouldn't have run a letter from a genuine gay teenager at that time, the Section 2a debate had become so highly politicised and the Daily Record were so deep in the Brian Souter "Keep the Clause" camp that it would've been ammunition for the Executive and its supporters.
Anyway, the Record and Souter lost in the end. Ha.
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Post by Nurse Dunkley on Sept 9, 2007 11:53:57 GMT
Someone has written into Mrs Mills today with:
Since recently having my eyes lasered to improve my reading ability, I have discovered that my girlfriend of three years has a luxuriant blonde moustache. Should I get my eyes relasered back, or tackle her about it?
She tells him not to mention it, or she'll probably point out that he's got man boobs and a belly.
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boxedjoy
Su Pollard
Don't you wish your snack was as tempting as this?
Posts: 369
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Post by boxedjoy on Sept 10, 2007 19:50:38 GMT
Did anyone see today's Dear Deirdre? "Recently my boyfriend and I have been experimenting with fruit, such as strawberries and cream. However last night he said 'Let's have proper sex with fruit!' I'm not enthusiastic but I don't want to hurt his feelings. What should I do?"
Why would you tell the world that your lover wants to put a banana up your cunt?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2007 0:50:52 GMT
Victoria Newton probably wrote it. Still it's an inventive way to get one of your five a day.
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JS2
Slabface
Bitch got Owned!
Posts: 10
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Post by JS2 on Jun 19, 2008 9:08:05 GMT
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Post by somethingbiblical on Jun 19, 2008 12:11:38 GMT
Has anyone seen Deidre's video casebook on youtube? There used to be more, but they are fine examples of stunningly horrific acting.
This one:
is the tale of a woman who has big chebs, the Sun would obviously advocate that she show these off at every opportunity, however her boss is lecherous and the Sun would also obviously advocate that she deserves the good raping she gets for wearing a low cut top.
(warning: needlessly naked couple at the start, though you don't see anything)
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Post by Becky on Jun 20, 2008 11:55:48 GMT
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2008 13:50:56 GMT
I shudder to think of the pictures that they'll get.
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drooboy
Jane Asher
Too good for Nancy
Posts: 110
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Post by drooboy on Jun 21, 2008 13:41:29 GMT
It's only a shame Mario and Lisa are stuck in the BB house right now, I'm sure they would make a delightful couple for the photo casebook.
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Post by pauliepoos on Jun 24, 2008 9:16:41 GMT
!!!How can I tell mum I'm gay?!!!Well unless 'mum' is Helen Keller, she probably knows he's a gay already, if the jeans, vest and cookbook combo are anything to go by.
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