Cheryl Baker: Quite literally, wallowing in shit

[jetsetwilly]

From today's MediaGuardian:

It may be the middle of the silly season where newspapers are desperate to fill their pages with any old guff, but Monkey feels that even the most hard-pressed news editors may have turned this one down. According to a press release which dropped into the in-boxes of showbiz hacks today, Eurovision's Cheryl Baker - she of Making Your Mind Up fame - has signed up as the face of emergency plumbers, Drain Doctor Plumbing. If you were still looking for that elusive news hook, how about this - Baker has twice in the past few months had to call a plumber to tackle "small emergencies" in her home - a leaking water main and a blocked drain. Monkey just wonders why he had to hear about this from a press release and not through the normally on-the-ball tabloids. Monkey has no idea why Baker subsequently felt the need to sign up as the face of the drain company, but only fears that this doesn't mean her career is heading in the same direction...

Perhaps the drain was blocked by her thinning hair.

[pauliepoos]

She also advertises double glazing in the West Country and is chairperson of the National Caravanning Association, or some similar organisation.

She keeps herself busy, which is more than you can say about Jay Aston. Jay Aston. Jay Aston.

[Bungle]

Remember what Harry Hill said about her agent...?

All true!

[Nurse Dunkley]

It's odd because in the picture she's smiling but doesn't look that happy.

pauliepoos said:

She also advertises double glazing in the West Country

That advert is BRILLIANT. For those who haven't seen it, she's sat in the garden talking about the windows with her daughters and says cheerily "and you can bog off!". To which the daughters look incredibly shocked (they may even spit their drinks out) as if she's just called everyone a cunt, before she explains the buy one get one free* offer. Then she holds up a glass of Bucks Fizz and and says something about Making Your Mind Up about the windows. There are two hidden references to Cheryl's career there. See if you can spot them.

*Which is 'bog of', not 'bog off'. I can't be the only nitpicky loser to get annoyed by this.

[Muinimula]

pauliepoos said:

She also advertises double glazing in the West Country and is chairperson of the National Caravanning Association, or some similar organisation.

She keeps herself busy, which is more than you can say about Jay Aston. Jay Aston. Jay Aston.

Let me tell you a little bit about Jay Aston, Miss Jay Aston...

[Robbing the Dead]

What will she advertise next? Thrush cream probably.

[FeelsLikeKellyCrabtree]

boydsbummerbuddy said:

What will she advertise next? Thrush cream probably.

That's why she hired the emergency plumbers

[Deleted]

"My entire drain was blocked after the hair fell out of my enflamed fanny. It was horrible, but the drain doctor cleared my drain and gave me some cinston duo! He's made my mind up, cheers!" I'd wee.

[Nurse Dunkley]

I like the sound of that, though it needs another Eurovision reference because it's too subtle right now. Perhaps at the end she could have her skirt whipped off, to reveal her healed Lady Garden?

[jerriblank]

It's odd because in the picture she's smiling but doesn't look that happy.

Well, The Camera Never Lies (sorry)

[KentDan]

Will the woman stop at nothing!!!

www.bbc.co.uk/kent/content/articles/2007/06/25/kent_beaver_video_feature.shtml

[Samuel]

We all know Cheryl loves a bit of beaver.

[Gordon]

" ... tracking down an endangered beaver."

Is this the sort of chat that goes down on gaydargirls? I've always wanted to set up a profile on that, but that's a bit weird probably.

Why does she relegate herself to such humiliating work?

[Deleted]

She's got a mortgage to pay and her pipework was a biut mucky.

[Geo]

I think its strangely Heart warming that she's searching for rare beaver.. If its missing hair she can always chuck some of that miracle "hair loss" shit over it.

Double bonus!

[Legend]

nursedunkley said:

It's odd because in the picture she's smiling but doesn't look that happy.

pauliepoos said:

She also advertises double glazing in the West Country

That advert is BRILLIANT. For those who haven't seen it, she's sat in the garden talking about the windows with her daughters and says cheerily "and you can bog off!". To which the daughters look incredibly shocked (they may even spit their drinks out) as if she's just called everyone a cunt, before she explains the buy one get one free* offer. Then she holds up a glass of Bucks Fizz and and says something about Making Your Mind Up about the windows. There are two hidden references to Cheryl's career there. See if you can spot them.

*Which is 'bog of', not 'bog off'. I can't be the only nitpicky loser to get annoyed by this.

I just assumed the phrase was "buy one get one free, fucker".

[El Capitan]

I've just watched a video on Youtube of La Baker's starry appearance at the carnival in Nuneaton. Her fixed grin suggested a woman dying on the inside with every picture taken.

[Paul]

A bump for possibly my favourite thread title on lowculture. Nurse Dunkley's précis of the double glazing advert made me look for it on youtube. Sadly that, and the plumbing advert aren't there but her Jenny Craig adverts are. Two years on, has anyone see Cheryl lately to confirm she's kept the weight off?

[Robbing the Dead]

Jan 28, 2013 21:08:32 GMT Paul said:

A bump for possibly my favourite thread title on lowculture. Nurse Dunkley's précis of the double glazing advert made me look for it on youtube. Sadly that, and the plumbing advert aren't there but her Jenny Craig adverts are. Two years on, has anyone see Cheryl lately to confirm she's kept the weight off?

If you're in the Thurrock area in May you could find out for yourself:

www.thurrock.gov.uk/theatre/content.php?page=service_events&ID=1383

Cheryl Baker formerly of Bucks Fizz will be taking the audience on a roller coaster journey which will bring a smile to peoples faces and also tug on the hearts strings when Cheryl reminisces about her upbringing and her life. Cheryl will also be singing some of her favourite hits that she has made throughout her career accompanied by her twin daughters.

Will she reminisce about the time she got a colonic on The Salon?