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Post by Robbing the Dead on Jul 6, 2008 14:48:25 GMT
Hollyoaks has the worst doctors ever. Women beware! Go into Hollyoaks General to get a mole removed, come out barren.
5,000th post, bitches!
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Post by xenomaniac on Jul 6, 2008 15:13:50 GMT
Go into Hollyoaks General to get a mole removed, come out baron. Ohh I quite fancy that. Baron O'Dell has a nice ring to it.
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JoanSmith
Slabface
"The hammer is my penis."
Posts: 36
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Post by JoanSmith on Jul 6, 2008 20:22:44 GMT
Hollyoaks has the worst doctors ever. Women beware! Go into Hollyoaks General to get a mole removed, come out barren. 5,000th post, bitches! Unless the you've recently had secret affair-sex or teenage-sex, in which case you are almost certainly pregnant. Happy 5000th post, RtD!
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emma
Jane Asher
Posts: 217
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Post by emma on Jul 6, 2008 21:00:41 GMT
Can someone refresh my memory as to how a simple procedure left Jacqui infertile in the first place?
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Post by Robbing the Dead on Jul 6, 2008 21:03:13 GMT
Jacqui was pregnant wasn't she and had a miscarriage. I don't think the doctors did anything, I just think they found out she had a "misshapen womb" which meant she'd always miscarry or something.
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emma
Jane Asher
Posts: 217
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Post by emma on Jul 6, 2008 21:11:35 GMT
I remember her miscarrying and having the foetus removed. According to my recolelction and Wikipedia (which therefore MUST BE THE TRUTH AS HANDED DOWN BY CHIEF STORYLINER TOINTON) that there were "complications" with the operation.
Which, without getting too gyneacological, is basically just a tidy up job. I can't imagine how anything short of the surgeon going batshit and playing noughts and crosses on your ovaries would leave you infertile. Mind you, this is the same hospital who didn't realise a starved teenage girl with heart failure was anorexic.
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ruth
Slabface
Posts: 27
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Post by ruth on Jul 7, 2008 11:17:26 GMT
Maybe it's just the maternity/gynacology/eating disorder wards where the doctors aren't very good. Through the miracle of medical science Darren left hospital the day after being shot, which I'd say is quite an achievement.
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meryl
Junior Member
Posts: 81
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Post by meryl on Jul 7, 2008 19:20:47 GMT
Maybe it's just the maternity/gynacology/eating disorder wards where the doctors aren't very good. Through the miracle of medical science Darren left hospital the day after being shot, which I'd say is quite an achievement. don't forget baby charlie's superquick diagnosis and treatment, plus paternity outing. Alek coming back is definitely a win. Whoever said it is right that him and carmel have good chemistry. Although, they do seem to have (in typical hollyoaks style) transformed his character somewhat into a needy shadow of his former glory. Talking of returnees, do we know the long term of cindy, max's mum, and OB? they seem to all be in limbo a bit. any thoughts on the (i assume) inevitable Calvin/Val 'oh noes did we have the sex' storyline?
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Post by Joel on Jul 7, 2008 19:48:50 GMT
ALEK!
Looking super-hot. But sadly no hint that they'll give me my OTP with him and Jacqui. I'm sure his manly Albanian sperm could overcome a pineapple-shaped womb much better than Tony's weedy focaccia-flavoured ones.
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emma
Jane Asher
Posts: 217
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Post by emma on Jul 7, 2008 20:13:26 GMT
Regarding OB: Acording to DigitalSpy he's buggering off for good on Friday. Jacqui is a fucking repulsive sociopathic bitch. Your sister gets pregnant for you at the cost of great strain on her marriage, has a massively traumatic birth and hysterectomy, and you scream in her face "BUT YOU KNOW I CAN'T HAVE KIDS!" And she "needs" the baby so Tony doesn't leave her? I just vommed in my mouth a little bit. Nancy's dress was nice but she needs to fix that hair.
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Post by mcqueen on Jul 7, 2008 20:45:05 GMT
Alek looks super hot!! I remember being so angry when he was written out given how brilliant he was.
Sadly they are making him an angry money grabbing assylum seeker and ruining all the good work they did originally.
Calvin is such a dick- it annoys me that Alek seems to be back so that we feel sorry for him. That will never happen!
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Post by joshjones on Jul 7, 2008 21:50:46 GMT
Talking of returnees, do we know the long term of cindy, max's mum, and OB? they seem to all be in limbo a bit. Cindy is on a 6 month contract, along with Mandy. I don't know about Max's mother. I wish OB could stay, but better to leave than to be ruined. I also wish Tom were going with him. I don't know why Tom needs to stay on the show. I never quite knew what they were doing with Alek during his first run. He wanted to marry Jacqui to give his family money and they had a great possible story where he and Jacqui could fall in love. Instead, he was more than happy to risk them in order to get with Carmel, and Jacqui stayed with Tony. Then he turned against Carmel because she got a boob job, which made him look like yet another of the righteous pricks of Hollyoaks. Then he left because he wanted to help Jacqui. And now it's just another plot over character moment. They're lucky Jon Lolis is gorgeous and such a good actor. I don't know why they can't bring him back for good. Maybe he only wants a guest appearance. I didn't mind Carmel and Calvin at first, but there's no reason for them to be together now. I know they've tried to fob Carmel off on just about every man on the show, but she could always just focus on her career. Or get a new boyfriend. Or they could always put her with Darren. Since Val has no purpose, other than chavdom, wouldn't it be nice if she had sex with Calvin and then told him all she wanted was his body, for that one time. Then Calvin would stew in all his moral outrage over being used as a piece of flesh (which often seems to be how he treats Carmel).
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Post by Feral on Jul 7, 2008 22:43:32 GMT
Did Alek look that hot last time around??? I remember he was fit before, but on C4 tonight he looked properly amazing.
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Post by mcqueen on Jul 8, 2008 7:17:21 GMT
Did Alek look that hot last time around??? I remember he was fit before, but on C4 tonight he looked properly amazing. Oh yeah he did!! Pic in spoiler:
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JoanSmith
Slabface
"The hammer is my penis."
Posts: 36
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Post by JoanSmith on Jul 8, 2008 18:00:25 GMT
Was that fruit juice Steph and Mandy were trying to tempt Tom out of the bathroom with? Have they met him?
“Tom’s locked himself in a cupboard at school” and the look of horror on Mandy’s face when Steph tried to palm him off on her were hilarious - I could get behind Tom as a never-seen comedy character (Maris Crane style).
Next week: Steph and Mandy are called to the school to discuss Tom’s obvious learning difficulties and ADHD. The teacher persuades them that his junk food diet is to blame, so they put him on a healthy eating plan. Hilarity ensues.
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Post by Joel on Jul 8, 2008 18:38:16 GMT
Was it yesterday that Mandy was like 'And Tom can look after my baby, because he's so grown-up and mature!' with that awesome look on her face?
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Post by xenomaniac on Jul 8, 2008 18:58:10 GMT
I could get behind Tom as a never-seen comedy character (Maris Crane style). That would be genius. Surely if Tom locked himself in a cupboard you'd simply nail it shut and forget he ever existed.
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nixxxon
Jane Asher
This is a two-sets-of-marigolds problem
Posts: 239
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Post by nixxxon on Jul 8, 2008 21:45:55 GMT
E4: I shouldn't eat my dinner while watching Hollyoaks. The possibility of Val/Calvin (Valvin?) made me feel queasy.
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Post by Robbing the Dead on Jul 9, 2008 0:37:50 GMT
Alek is sex.
Sasha stole Max's wedding ring. You could say she was... robbing the dead. Hurrah!
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dimples1
Slabface
I love a naughty priest!!!
Posts: 8
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Post by dimples1 on Jul 9, 2008 14:17:11 GMT
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Post by Feral on Jul 9, 2008 17:43:52 GMT
That's a great interview. However twattish JP gets, at least James still always manages to come across like a genuinely lovely guy. Pity the photo on the first page makes him look like he's had a stroke or something...
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Post by Joel on Jul 9, 2008 18:23:36 GMT
Oh. My. God. Just when I thought Hollyoaks had gone to shit, they produce that funeral. It was heartbreaking. Carley Stenson is an unbelievable actress. The 'what's in the box?' 'Max' attempt at a joke was perfect.
Oh, there you go, Calvin is acting like a cunt. Everything is okay again.
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Post by Elly on Jul 9, 2008 18:35:55 GMT
E4: I'm in tears. That was utter perfection.
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Post by Carrotline on Jul 9, 2008 18:38:43 GMT
Red face I can't believe I cried at Steph's version About You Now, but it was soooo sad. Damn you, Hollyoaks.
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JoanSmith
Slabface
"The hammer is my penis."
Posts: 36
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Post by JoanSmith on Jul 9, 2008 19:38:45 GMT
E4: Count me in as one of the blubbers. That was perfect and felt very real. Carly Stenson was amazing - I had no idea she could actually sing. The Darren/Steph moments were especially lovely (it's a shame the writers will probably forget they even know each other for the next six months). Tom didn't even annoy me that much.
Plus, some on involved in the drugz r bad, m'kay? story finally though to involve a doctor rather than going straight for the lock them in a room with a few buckets / score some street methadone solution. Better late than never.
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