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Post by Steven on Jul 12, 2005 21:31:26 GMT
If you haven't experienced these yet, I can only recommend that you visit at your earliest convenience. I can't believe that there are TWoP levels of snark on the webpage of the company that actually screens these programmes. The recaps are absolutely hilarious. Here are some choice samples from Monday's episodes: Roy informs her, 'Ignorance is dangerous, progress is nothing to be feared.' (Armed with this information, Leanne can now happily bask in her new role as the most dangerous women in the world!)
Sarah points out, 'Scooter, they have a seven second memory span.' He smiles, 'I need you babe!' and she is left with little choice but to agree to the madcap scheme before rushing upstairs to be sick. But, while we are on the subject of creatures with seven second memory spans.....
.... 'Tres elegant n'est pas? It's French. If I'm going to be a model I'm going to have to learn it,' twitters the vacuous one looking like a reject from the Dukes Of Hazard.
Charlie tells Shelley that plastic surgery is not the answer. (Possibly not but having 13 stone of excess builder removed might do wonders for her.)I'm still laughing at that last one. Whoever writes these is heroically funny. |
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Post by Steven on Jul 12, 2005 23:25:55 GMT
On reflection, however, some of the spelling is rather a pity.
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Post by Nick on Jul 12, 2005 23:33:26 GMT
They seem to be good with the pause button when someone's pulled a particularly insane expression, even if it's just for a split-second. Ken Barlow, Ian Davenport and Mad Maya 'Mad 'Mad Maya' Maya Sharma' Sharma in particular have all been caught out this way over and over again.
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Post by MoondialSlater on Jul 12, 2005 23:41:57 GMT
My favourite ITV update was the caption for a picture where Kurt was clearing up some dog mess in the kennels and they asked whether he was picking up the scripts for a certain East-End based soap opera.
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Post by theactresswhosings on Jul 26, 2005 0:20:00 GMT
"The door opens and in walks Tim the vet, resplendent in black and white stripy top which gives him a slightly Gaelic air. (Hope he doesn't go near Tracy Barlow, she is repelled by.... oh hang on.... that's 'garlic'.)"
I'm going to make it my mission this week to find out who does these. Whoever they are should replace that woman, Sharon Marshall, that does the Soap Reviews on This Morning. I'm not even convinced she's seen all Coronation Street feature lenght specials only available on VHS.
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Lita
Su Pollard
Posts: 270
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Post by Lita on Jul 26, 2005 13:20:11 GMT
I've forgotten the name of the guy who does them - but he actually did it independently for years under the name CSVU (Coronationn Street Visual Updates) - I think I first started reading them in about 98/99.
Much to Granada's credit, they let him do it without shutting him down (unlike the BBC: inspired by CSVU. someone started a nearly-as-funny Eastenders one that last about 6 months before the beeb put a stop to it as they started to build their web empire). And then eventually when they created the itv.com/soap website they made him official - he's had to tone down some of the humour (back when it was independent, there were times when I used to enjoy the updates more than the shows themselves!) but it's still great.
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Post by Lucinda on Jul 26, 2005 14:57:33 GMT
There's Easties for Eastenders. I haven't really kept up with it myself, but I've heard it's good for Eastenders recaps. |
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Post by MoondialSlater on Jul 27, 2005 0:08:30 GMT
There's Easties for Eastenders. I haven't really kept up with it myself, but I've heard it's good for Eastenders recaps. It used to be. But then the couple running it had a baby and the updates got cut to weekly rather than daily (and they don't always watch every episode.) Still quite funny. |
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Post by sladey66 on Jul 28, 2005 8:18:02 GMT
Ummm...actually Mark is gay and I'm married to Mr P (father of the baby you referred to earlier).
Sorry that we went weekly, but working full-time and caring for a family doesn't leave me much time to watch TV. And besides, we both wanted to write about other stuff and go out into, you know, the Real World, occasionally.
Glad you think we're still quite funny though.
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Post by Steven on Aug 10, 2006 12:27:22 GMT
Bumping this one just to repost this comment:
Outside, Adam punches the air with a victorious 'Yessss!' no doubt looking forward to spending his newfound wealth on more unflattering raincoats and who knows, maybe an appointment at Audrey's.
And Amen to that.
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