The Ferreiras get a hooker

[Steven]

Apparently plans are afoot at EastEnders to make the Ferreiras more interesting by having a prostitute move in with them.

The character has already been in the show before: Sasha, played by Jemma Walker (Siobhan from Family Affairs, if memory serves) who went to that family wedding with one of them.

It just reeks of desperation, doesn't it?

[moondial]

If they wanted a prostitute then why did they get rid of Kelly?

[lovebomb]

I liked Sasha for the little time she was in it.

But putting her with the Ferreiras?

Poor Shirley has already fallen victim to that lot. how long will it take before Sasha's character is ruined by her association with them?

[Steven]

Apparently EastEnders is really getting trounced in the ratings at the moment, with one episode pulling in on average 6.3 million viewers.

I'm wondering whether this is the public actively voting with their feet (or their remotes) and saying that it's rapidly turning into repetitive, dull dross, or whether it's going to get blamed on the summer weather (what summer weather?) and Wimbledon.

Perhaps it's time for the Beeb to change their tagline:

"EastEnders: everybody's talking about it, but nobody's watching it."

[si]

How to save it though?

Ideas people!

One. A Cast Cull. Get rid of the dead wood. The Ferrieras need to go. They're making a good start by offing Lynne. I also think that Den and Mrs Den need to leave too -- things really started going down hill when he arrived back on the scene. I think since Den returned, I only watched the high points of Janine storyline (and I bet they're sorry they've gotten rid of her now). Gus and Juley -- just leave.

Two. Give the Regular cast something to do. Pat is criminally underused and always surrounded by rumours that she's leaving. Give her a big, juicy plotline and get her involved with either an existing family or a new family they bring in. Where's her old pimp? Bring him back into it. She must be ripe for an Old Dear Being taken for a ride plot? This is probably just me being a dirty gayer, but give Mickey something to do outside of being peripheral to The Kids. Why wasn't Mickey roped into Andy's evil organisation and not Juley? Again, great character (and a new one at that) but criminally underused. Sam could also do with actually acting like a gangster and not just playing like one. The promise of her becoming head of the family business hasn't come to anything, except her being taken for a ride by Andy. She could be an awesome villain, but they're too scared to do anything about it.

Three: While we're on the subject, villains. Andy just isn't cutting the mustard. Either make him a force to be reckoned with or he can join the cast cull in point one. The gangster thing that Eastenders is obsessed with hasn't been working out for a long, long time. Corrie is excelling at the minute without a proper baddie because more human villains, like Tracy, like Mike, are more interesting that the pantomime Eastenders has going on. When everyone on the square turned against the Dragon Slide organisers, Sonia shouted Go get Den Watts! Why? Because a gangly, stick thin pensioner with a webcam fetish is going to be able to save the day? This is also the problem I have with Kat. Yes, it's since that she's mellowed a bit with Alfie, but she was always at her best when she had a villain (like Trever) to fight. Remember when she baited him into beating her up just to get him arrested? Where was that fight and spark when Andy was threatening her? The Moons have ruined the best character Eastenders had in years. On another villain note -- where's Zoe's pimp, Roxie? She said that Kat and Zoe wouldn't get away with it... make good on your promise luv, you rocked!

Four: Pizzazz. Where is it? Where's the Kids pastiche from Zoe's 18th birthday party? Where's the Thelma and Louise reference from the time Peggy and Pat had to hide the hot cars? Where's the snappy comebacks and witty oneliners? There's no style in the show right now.

OK, I think this is my longest post ever. I used to have so much faith in Eastenders, so it makes me sad/angry that it's gone to shit. Any other ideas?

[Nick]

The obvious way to make EastEnders more interesting / credible is for everyone to find out that, yes, Den really did die when he was shot all those years ago.

This would 'lift' the show for so many reasons:

• Kate and Chrissie would suddenly both become a lot more interesting (to themselves, as much as anyone else).
  
  
• Dennis wouldn't seem so surplus to requirements, and instead of being 'Den and mini-Den', they would be 'Den and not-dead-Den'.
  
  
• It would explain why everyone is still so scared of him.
  
  
• It would mean that there's no reason why they can't bring Angie back, after all. Or Ethel!
  
  
• It would give Sharon something else to cry about, other than her dad being dead and then not being dead and her fiance burning to death and her club burning down and Mark dying and being in love with her kind-of-brother and being barren and looking at other people's children etc etc sob.
  
  
• For once, it wouldn't be a watered-down version of something they did in Brookside a few years earlier. It'd be a watered-down version of Night & Day instead. But better Night & Day-lite than no Night & Day at all.
  
  
• Extra make-up for Mr Grantham would not be necessary.
  
  
• Continuity-wise, it would make a lot more sense than him being alive.

[Steven]

si said:

Four: Pizzazz. Where is it? Where's the Kids pastiche from Zoe's 18th birthday party? Where's the Thelma and Louise reference from the time Peggy and Pat had to hide the hot cars? Where's the snappy comebacks and witty oneliners? There's no style in the show right now.

At first I read that as "witty eyeliners". That's something that's missing from television as a whole, I feel.

But yes, I agree with your whole post but specifically this point. What infuriates me about EastEnders is that whenever a new female character is introduced we're promised that she will be feisty and will take no crap from no man, but this never reaches fruition. We were told that Chrissie "gives as good as she gets", and yet Den appears to have the upper hand over her at every turn, making her look jealous, insecure and generally stupid. New girl Jane is supposed to be feisty and independent, but she's got the hots for Ian, so I think we all know how that will turn out.

It would just be nice for some of the new female characters to be introduced for a purpose other than to be a witless foil for one of the alpha males, wouldn't it?