smells like some con

[smellslikesomeghost]

Really, what the fuck is going on?
First Victor goes, hmmm, standard racist british response to get rid of the big black guy rather than the big white guy, sucks, but same old. Then Stuart gets evicted despite his huge popularity, and even jason can't believe it. Then holy moly allege wrong doings. Now Shell and Dan. Jason makes it to the final. Nadia is obviously going to win, and yeah, I'd rather her than him, but I don't feel very convinced that what I've seen is in any way reality.

[Sean]

I really, REALLY don't understand what the fuck is going on. Who is actually voting for this guy? I don't know one person who likes him.

However, looking at the official forum, he does seem to have a big fanbase- because of the Jungle Cats, and also, it seems, because some people can't stomach the idea of a 'freak show' (actual quote) winning BB. One person is claiming to have spent £400 on voting for Jay. Craziness.

[keaty]

I think being disliked actually really helps - people like to have a villain figure, and it gets you a fanbase. Hence Jason's obvious popularity - people admire his frankness even though he's a fucking prick at the same time. Had it been a vote to evict, Jason would have gone first without a doubt.

[milkmonitor]

I do think there was something weird going on during this year's BB. I mean, I don't think any of them were actors, but I do think they were maybe given instructions by the producers to liven things up a bit. Kitten's refusal to go into the house until she'd given her girlfriend a nice, long tongue sandwich for the cameras, Jason proclaiming to be bisexual and then changing his mind halfway through...it all seemed a bit too convenient. Maybe the producers just picked the right mix of housemates with the right personalities, I don't know. It just all seemed a bit too perfect; the polar opposite of last year.

[Chocolate]

smellslikesomeghost said:

racist british response to get rid of the big black guy rather than the big white guy, sucks, but same old.

Jason was always the least popular before the wedding. He got the stick for being the brains of the operation and people were talking about Victor probably being a bit nicer once Jason had gone. I'm sure there would have been a few racists voting, but the racist (subconcious and otherwise) vote wasn't enough to push Victor ahead in the polls before the wedding. Unless there was a rush of people tuning in to see the wedding fight then realising they hadn't noticed Victor was black before, there's no reason the racist vote would have been any higher after the wedding, it was his own actions that put him ahead.

I'm not too surprised at Stuart leaving first either, looking around the forums I didn't see many people promising to vote for him, yet quite a few voting for Shell. I think Dan came third because he had a similar voting market to Nadia and couldn't really compete with her. There was no one else in the house like Jason to vote for after Victor left, although had this been an eviction instead of voting for the winner, I think he'd have come 5th for that exact same reason.

And you have to wonder, why would Big Brother be so concerned with Stuart to fix the thing anyway? Holy Moly have claimed he was chucked out because the discovered he was a "mole" (something the rest of us heard in the first two weeks) and communicating with them. It's hardly against the rules, or even a big thing at all, to have mates outside who run a website, and the secret things he was supposed to be telling themv ia coloured headwear (the ones I heard about anyway) turned out to be rubbish.

[moondial]

Chocolate said:

It's hardly against the rules, or even a big thing at all, to have mates outside who run a website, and the secret things he was supposed to be telling themv ia coloured headwear (the ones I heard about anyway) turned out to be rubbish.

Well what he was telling them may have been true (I'm particularly interested in the covered up Michelle Vs Becki fight) but what confused me as to how he was telling them this via the medium of the bandana.

For those without Holy Moly these are the revelations:

To start with:

Which ties up nicely with the final story which Holy Moly has had to keep schtum about for months...

Various tabloids have today revealed details about this years inhabitants of the Big Brother house. We have a wannabe Page 3 girl, a gay man who only fancies straight menzzzzzzz...

One thing they won't be able to tell you though, is which one of them is a senior member of the Holy Moly collective. If you can spot the clues on next Friday's show, you win a shirt. Incidentally, the only communication device we could think of was a fairly mind-numbing code based on what colour clothes he/she is wearing...

Stay tuned

Stuart then has teething troubles with his codes:

So, what has the first week of Big Brother told us?.. Well, despite hundreds of emails proclaiming Kitten to be the mole (give us *some* fucking credit) only one or two of you guessed correctly. The clothing code (see last week) nearly ended in disaster with the threat of our mole losing all their kit, but we have managed to glean bits and bobs.... We need some help piecing it together though... can anyone from Endemol help?

a) Belgium.
b) Stolen car.
c) Panicking chaperone

And without wanting to sound like Mystic Meg...

d) Make-up bag

Holy Moly has absolutely no fucking idea what that all means,

He then gets into the swing of things though manages to be less than complimentary about someone he'd be shagging about six weeks later:

So... Big Brother.

Firstly, for those who doubt - a little hello from them to me.

Only a couple of things this week:
1) Private chats are rarely kept private.
2) Given the choice would you rather buy a thong, or some Camembert?
3) Sex Shop.
4) My favourite brand of clothing this summer is Hennes. They have a lovely logo. Nice initials, don't you think?
5) Off the subject slightly, why does Michelle strive to look like Bella Emberg after she has been kicked through a glue factory and then rolled round Top Shop for an hour?

Correctly reveals Emma is being booted off but gets the date wrong (she was removed two days later.

HOLY MOLY EXCLUSIVE!

So.. There I am just about to send you all the mailout. I decide to have a cigarette and flick E4 on.

Don't tell me my mole is wearing that!?

What can it mean?!!

I've just been sent a message that Emma is being booted off.

Tonight

The lack of psychoanalysts was addressed (these would be the psychoanalysts who came back later).

So.. Let's have some BB news then.


Widely doing the rounds at the mo, but if you missed it, Here is a fair portion of the scrap.
I can tell you that the HM mole is not Victor or Emma. That wasn't planned by us lot.
During her group interview for BB5, Kitten took a drum with her and every time she got asked a question she just banged on it repeatedly and refused to answer.
Shell cries at point of climax and is apparently "not worth the effort" (plus, has no-one told her that her fanny is like, waaaay too hairy?)
Endemoly had better be careful. Imagine if it ever came to light that one of the larger arsed HM's has a 'bit of previous'! Would be scandalous!

Also, ever wondered why the shows have struggled to get the usual amount of psychoanalysis on air?
It's because producers ignored much of the advice given to them by the shrinks and chose people that they did not think were mentally stable enough to handle being inside the house.

The shrinks have been boycotting the show.

Who'd have thunk it!

This addresses a midweek eviction, which never happened:

So... Big Brother.

Events over the past week (namely a lot of fucking fancy dress) has kind of buggered up communications.

What we do know though - is that there will be one or more evictions in the middle of next week... and that even though we know about Nadia's secret, another housemate holds a similar trait - Ray Davies summed it up perfectly with:

"It's a mixed up, muddled up shook up world except for...******"

A rumour which I very much doubt came from Stuart unless he'd written it all on that big hat. It is however the one I really want to be, and really believe could be true. Marco has already said none of them can legally talk about Fight Night, that the police demanded Emma's removal and that if there was any more trouble the show would be shut down. Oh and at the time of the plane the cameras did mysteriously lose the feed for an hour whilst all three tabloids managed to have in-depth reports on a story which apparently "never happened":

Tut tut Big Brother...

You've spent 5 years provoking the poor little mites and now, after prodding them with your evil stick to provoke some action, you have to cover it up.

Remember The Sun's plane earlier on this week regarding Michelle's nomination? Well, BB have flatly denied that it caused a riot - which simply isn't true.

It was Dan who remembered Becki being called into the diary room after nominations and worked out when she did the deed (HM likes Dan) and cleverly confided in Stuart.

Stuart (being either head over heels or frightened to death) ran straight to Michelle who confronted Becki who didn't deny it.
They had a big screaming match and Michelle dived at Becki, Dan caught her and pulled her away (very clever again of Dan).

The two girls had to speak with the producers face to face and only agreed to keep things peaceful because if there is another scrap, the police will close the show.

They even made them do that 'link up your little finger' handshake thing.

Again probably not from Stuart but did happen, as well as someone (probably Victor) signalling to Jason in Morse Code from Tesco's car park that he was safe & Michelle was going.

Big Brother:

Last night there was another shouting incident.

A couple of lads screamed over the fence "Bye bye Michelle!"

The only person in the garden at the time was Jason.

He hasn't said a word to anyone - but keeps smirking to himself.

And the eventual eviction message:

Dear Stuart,

I'm so sorry. It was never meant end this way.

You said Holy Moly too many times - and it scared them.

Thanks for the bandanas and the plugs - it was a blast.

Unfortunately, Holy Moly can't endorse your new love interest. She has dead eyes and looks as though she smells 'down there'.

However, rest assured that even though you were evicted, you were NOT last in the polls. Not by a long way.

They have some explaining to do. What scared them so? Did you look around and see the shocked look on the production staff's faces? We did. And we don't really think it was all to do with the ridiculous amount of coke knocking around either.

Ask them tonight. Ask to see the stats from the voting. You'll be surprised my friend.

Thank Dermot for the shout out for me - and ask Michelle how long it took her to realise that every time she sang, BB played sounds of dogs barking.

Well done Endemol & Channel 4. Corruption is alive, well and living in Elstree.

Now which combination of bandanas and clothing could come up with that lot?

[milkmonitor]

I don't get it. Stuart was sending messages to Holy Moly via his bandanas and other clothes. I can sort of believe that. But how the hell would he know what BB were planning etc? And how does a goody two-shoes Uni student know HM? As I said, I don't get it.