Hollyoaks drinking game

[[james]]

Considering it's one of most cyclical shows on television, I'm amazed no-one's written one yet. At least recycling scripts saves on wasted paper. As it's a teatime soap I don't recommend you break out the hard liquor so the non-alcoholics can just have an Alphabite or jellybean instead.

Single if:
- Claire makes an evil smirk behind someone's back.
- Hannah appears in a binge montage.
- Calvin takes off his shirt for no reason whatsoever.
- Tom has any frozen food.
- John-Paul bemoans at Craig for taking too long in dumping Sarah.
- Sarah wears a top with sideboob.
- Nancy shouts "Becca's innocent!!1!"
- A night out involves the Dog, the Loft or the SUBar.
- Someone moves into one of the McQueen's billions of bedrooms.
- Tina gets angry at Dom for something that is not his fault.
- A text message is a major plot device.
- Justin's bitchtits take up more than half the screen.
- Sasha fluffs her line and misses her stage cue.
- Someone points out Alkey Valentine shouldn't be dishing out advice
- A relative turns up for two weeks when the storyline dictates.
- The student get involved in a wacky money-saving scheme.
- Steph gets a crap acting job when she still manages to be shit at.

Double if:
- There's bad rape.
- Debbie gets a storyline despite having left years ago.
- Amy has her Winehouse hairdo.
- Nancy shouts "Becca's innocent!!1!" in context.
- Elliott takes off his hat.

Triple if:
- There's good rape.

Down the bottle if:
- Dom gets his arse out again
- Katy shows an actual emotion.
- Tom eats a salad.

I'm just getting the ball rolling.
Add your own suggestions.

[Cherubic]

A single:

Whenever JP and Craig are shown wearing post coital vests.
If Carmel says anything about Jacqui or Skoda and they don't come back with "You Stole my money for your tits so fuck off!"

A double:

Whenever Michaella and Barnsey have a spark of flirty sexual tension.

[Bridgey]

Single:

* Jessica saves the day through her student journalism
* Nancy changes the colour of her highlights
* Nancy whines about her loss of adolescence
* Rhys bangs on about his rockstar ambitions
* A hip young guitar band soundtracks the opening montage of a student party aftermath
* A business with a punny name opens up
* The Rubbish Tranny makes a hypocritical judgement towards his flatmates
* A female character has an unexpected pregnancy and doesn't know who the father is
* A new undergraduate course is created at the Mandy Richardson University of Chester

Double:

* Nancy changes her hairstyle
* Passionate staring between Warren and Justin
* A postgraduate course is created at the Mandy Richardson University of Chester

Down every beverage in sight:

* Nancy grows her hair
* A member of the teaching staff from the Mandy Richardson University of Chester is involved in part of the action
* Justin and Warren bum
* The Valentine mother comes back from the dead
* A male character has an unexpected pregnancy and doesn't know who the father is
* Following a drunken escapade ending in Evissa, Elliot emerges in a drunken haze and is actually a stunner
* The episode contains elements of 'Hollyfiction'

Purge your entire alcoholic intake:

* That same episode was written by a 'Hollyfiction' competition winner, and was more believable than the professional screenwriters.

Bridgey xxx

[Robbing the Dead]

Down a single everytime:

- Hanna gurns.
- You are disgusted by EnablerBint's teeth.
- Craig can't decided wether he wants JP or ModelBint.
- MumBint says "I just want what's best for Leah"

[Steven]

Down a single if Rubbish Tranny wears something hideously unflattering. Double if it turns out to belong to Slabface. Triple if he claims it looks better on him.

[Joel]

A single if:

* Nancy's new hairstyle consists solely of dying that patch of hair a different colour.
* Craig does 'angry face'.
* Craig does 'conflicted face'.
* Darren laughs at someone else's misfortune.

[somethingbiblical]

Single:
- An entire storyline revolves around a misunderstanding
- The opening montage involves mobile phones
- Nancy takes something Jake says/does as meaning he wants to break up with her
- Steph tries to catch Jake and Nancy in the act
- Frankie tells Steph one way in which Debbie is better than her
- Gilly talks about football
- Tina whines

Double:
- The opening montage involves a dream proposal
- Craig says "I'm not gay!"
- You actually see a baby that's supposed to be in a cot/pram/chair
- Louise looks fierce

Triple:
- Frankie is actually nice to Steph
- Frankie and Jack are actually at home
- There's a genuinely cute couple

Down the whole bottle:
- A Valentine storyline is bearable

[Smudge]

Is the Rubbish Tranny still there? I thought he'd left the building. Him and the two fannies he lives with need to decide their course is shit and go back home.

[Cherubic]

How about you down the bottle when the titles start (aiming to be out of your tree by the time Clare does her weird floor stroke thing) and save yourself all the pain of watching sober?

If not, I do think afternoon clubbing, mentioning of "DJ", "DJs" or "DJing", someone swearing for no good reason in a late night special and Darren in a ridiculous outfit all need to be drinking spurs.

[somethingbiblical]

They need to take Justin out of the opening titles... Breakdancing? Are we in 1998?

[raspberry]

one shot if Tony runs and bumps into someone
two shots if Tony calls the police on someone
three shots if someone mentions his porn past
whole bottle if someone makes a reference to his age

[El Capitan]

Single if:

*The episode after an emotional outpouring, Tony is once more a stunted, bumbling twat.
*Spike disparages someone with his exceptionally poor comic timing.
*Mercedes calls Russ 'beeeeerrrrrrb'
*Someone does something entirely out of character for plot purposes.
*Melissa prolongs a vowel like she's part way through a stroke.

Down a double if:
*Any more than two parents are in the same episode.
*The JP/Craig storyline comes back after less than two weeks' absence.

Start on the Harpic if:
*Any football/music conversation doesn't sound jarringly stilted and contrived.
*Josh, even for a second, convinces you that he is heterosexual.

[mcflooze]

You absolute bastards! My mate and I have been playing our own Hollyoaks drinking game for ages, and now you all steal it. And make it better. Damn you all to hell!

[mcqueen]

Single if:
-Modelbint wears a minidress made out of lame/tin foil just to go to the shop
-Rapebot puts emphasis on a random word of a sentence she is saying
-Tony dumps Jacqui

Double
-JP does some eye raping of Craig
-The Craig/JP storyline ACTUALLY developes and doesnt just rehash the same senario every two weeks
-Tina gets stroppy about her black heritage (for no apparent reason)
-Bitchtits Mum visits him, calls him or is even mentioned.

Down the lot:
Barnesy proposes another posh-rape.
Speak and Spell emotes. ANYTHING

Get out the Domestos
-Sonny Valentine returns from his Aunties.

I actually think I would forgo the domestos and just through myself off the balcony.....

[georgie]

I'm rubbish at this but a single if -

- Jacqui mentions she's lost a baby
- Katy wears those huge wooden hoop earrings attempting to be as fierce a fashion icon as Louise but failing

[louises]

Single if- Rapebot reminds us once again that Easter Island is her "bwuver"
Gilly looks constipated
There is a helpline number after the show
The ‘truth’ is revealed in an overly dramatic way

Double if-Fletch manages to not look like an elf
Rapebot actually manages to say Justin rather than Juuussshhtiiiinn

Triple if-Slabface doesn't whine about her financial situation in an episode