SoapStar Supercull - an end of year poll

[jerriblank]

I've just read the Chrimbo Radio Times which must mean it is Christmas. Therefore can I propose an end of year poll?

Which soap character would you most like to see killed off in a vicious fashion in 2008?*

And who would you like to see make an appearance in a soap next year and why?

*Due to anticipated overwhelming popularity, Kris and The Tointon are not allowed alas

[Nurse Dunkley]

Best thread title ever! I can't quite narrow it down to one person though, because I'm full of hate.

Coronation Street:

• Claire and Ashley - Have Casey come back and do them in with a poisoned Cottage Pie
  
• The Morton Family - Crushed to death as Sinbad falls down the stairs on top of them (Sinbad knocks himself unconscoius in the fall and has to be chopped up into smaller pieces by Comedy Paramedics, because they can't carry him to hospital whole).
  

Eastenders

• Ian Beale - killed by Steven in a sexy yet dastardly manner
  
• Garyandminty - killed by Steven in a sexy yet dastardly manner
  
• Phil Mitchell - killed by Steven in a sexy yet dastardly manner
  
• Billy Mitchell - killed by Steven in a sexy yet dastardly manner
  
• Welard - killed by Steven in a sexy yet dastardly manner
  
• Mickey - Run over by a returning Sharon Watts (see the Strictly Come Dancing thread for further details)
  

Neighbours

• The Entire Cast - killed by an angry BBC scheduler, or perhaps it could be a mass suicide pact when someone tells them about Channel 5
  

[Rad]

Neighbours: Ned, Rebecca, Oliver, Carmella and 'Didge', in RobRob's glorious unabomber return.

EastEnders: Max, Minty, Garry and Gus. I don't really care how, but if the return of the magnificent Sharon was involved, so much the better. Or the return of Carol Jackson, for that matter.

Hollyoaks: All the Asworthlesses except Hannah by Uncledad coming back from the grave to firebomb them and their incest ways. Oh, and Gilly and Jakeass to get caught up in the blast. Tom to die of fithfinger OD. Mandy to return for the funerals.

[schmindie]

Coronation Street:
* Clurr, Ashley, Ken, Maria, Tony, Dev... anyone except Blanche.

Eastenders
* Gary/Minty/Gary's Mum - killed the night before the wedding preferably, since we all know soap weddings (mostly) never last, so why go through the hassle?
* Carly and the Wicks lot - well they're going anyway, but I'd like a particularly grim death for Carly. Involving GHD's, if possible.
* Mickey and Gus - they're alone on the market when a freak car accident occurs (as said in other posts, with Sharon or Carol Jackson behind the wheel).

Neighbours
* An entire cast overhaul. A meteor crashes on Ramsey St, killing everyone (thankfully Susan & Karl, Harold, Lou, Riley (for the eyecandy), PaulRob, ElleRob, Toadie, Fraser and Rosie are away in Eden Hills at a wine tasting event so are spared the ordeal). The meteor would of course be a well orchestrated plan by RobRob, and when he learns that PaulRob had escaped death again he would be compelled to return to Erinsborough to have another go. He would pose as Cameron (who didnt die! He actually went into witness protection for something undisclosed, possibly involving avoiding Katya for the rest of his natural life), gain his father's trust and then the fun would begin.

[richdidnt]

Eastenders - All the remaining Millars, perhaps Carbon Monoxide poisoning? Or they could all get infected bed sores from never moving off that sodding sofa. I'd also like to see Ian & Lucy Beale offed in a Lisa Faulkner in Spooks fashion, with a double round of heads in the friar by either Stephen or a returning Cindy Beale/Ghost of Cindy.

Hollyoaks - I know everyone loves her but I hate Jackie Malota/McQueen. I would like to see her die by having someone stand on her throat, at least she'd then have an excuse to use her whispery acting voice for 2 minutes. I'd also like to see Nicole return, made radioactive by her constant overuse of sunbeds and then then kill Gilly, Warren, Spud, Jakeass, Nancy and all the Valentines through her radioactive touch before imploding herself.

Corrie - I'm with Dunkley on the Mortons and Ashley but I have really started to like Claire lately (I know the apocalypse is round the corner)I'd also add Maria to the list, even if she has just had her contract renewed and Dev *EDIT* Ooh I see schmindie has allready added them, therefore I agree with everyone else!

[Deleted]

Corrie: The Peacocks, Mortons, Sean, Amy (Tammy Faye Baker) McDonald/Barlow, Paul, Kirk and Chesney, and pervert John.
Hollyoaks: The Osbournes, Warren, RAPEBOT, Rubbish Tranny, Plankton, Swimbint, Neville, Dom, Tony, Amy, Ste, The Valentines with the exception of Calvin who can stay if he doesn't wear clothes, Spud, Darren, and Tina.
Eastenders: Everyone but Steven.

[jetsetwilly]

Corrie: Beyond the obvious ones already mentioned (Family of Sinbad, Clurr and Ashley, Vernon), I'd like to see Bill Webster impaled on some piece of building equipment because he can't act and just pulls odd faces from under his moustache, and Paul Duckworth can go because the way he sucks his top lip onto his teeth is just weird.

EastEnders: Pretty much any character introduced from the Millers on, with the exception of Stephen, Shirley and Heather, for reasons too obvious to mention. A trip in the Tardis is involved basically, taking me back to a time when we thought Vicky and the return of Dirty Den was as bad as the Square could get. I'd spare Minty though because I think he's cute when he smiles.

As for returns, is La Oberman too obvious, battling a returning Sharon in a Primark version of Krystal vs Alexis?

[mcqueen]

New best thread EVER!!

[Nurse Dunkley]

junky said:

[I'm afraid Amber will have to go with her dad too.

GET OUT.

Ooh, you've reminded me that I'd like Mad Maya to come back. I miss her bulging eyes and general batshit aura.

[xenomaniac]

I'm not greedy, get rid of Belle DIngle and I'm happy.

[joshjones]

Hollyoaks:

As long as Carol Jackson is on the loose with her running over ways, I want her to back the car over Jakeass a few times, just for dramatic irony. Then she should plow into Sonny, wherever he is now, so he can't come back. Meanwhile, I want Niall to snap and strangle Zoe with her own shockingly poorly treated hair.

Eastenders:

Carol runs over Billy Jackson several times just to make sure the rubbish actor who played Sonny can't come back to Walford.

Phil Mitchell falls asleep and drowns in a pint at the Vic's Christmas Eve party. Ian is amused to no end that the "hard man" of Walford died in such a silly way, and laughs himself to a fatal heart attack. Steven kicks his corpse. Repeatedly.

[QuincyMD]

Corrie -

Rita - I even have it worked out so that itr will be the biggest soap surprise EVER!!!!!

EE -

Phil - just drop him off a rather large building.

[ninjasarenotcool]

Hollyoaks: Tina and Dim, you wouldn't even have to write them out in a cliff hanger or have them run over. If all the characters were to just stop mentioning the most boring couple ever. Everyone's forgotten the boob theft which lead to the introduction of Alexander, Tina and Dim haven't produced any story lines at all.

Though I'm all in favour of having a spin off only staring John Paul and Claire, smiting men and stamping on small children. Perhaps with a cameo appearance from Hannah or Elliot from time to time.

[Feral]

I reckon a spin-off involving JP and Elliot going on some sort of road trip, possibly with Michaela tagging along to irritate them, would quite possibly be the best thing ever…

Swimbint, Nancy and Jakeass seem to exist now purely to remind us how shitty and unlikable some people can be. Any story involving them falling down a mineshaft would be greatly appreciated. And you can throw Justin in after them, just to make sure they can't come back

[thelovelykate]

Neighbours - There are so many members of the current cast that I hate it's hard to pick the ones most deserving of the cull. Ned and his bastard offspring would be top of the list though, closely followed by Oliver, Carmella and (sorry!) Adam - formerly Foz off Hollyoaks. I think I would like them all to die of a horrible but typically euphamismed illness.

Returning: Izzy, RobRob, Mishka and Evil Paul Robinson. I am a bit sick of nice Paul - I want him to go back to screwing everyone over.

[bittersweet]

Corrie -

Jim McDonald - hopefully he's not back for good anyway but if he is I hope he doesn't stay long. He's so irritating, (so he is).

Craig Charles - The very fact they're still employing him is just shockingly wrong. (signed 'outraged from Maidenhead').

Janice Battersby - Send her and her foghorn voice back to France or wherever she disappeared to previously, please. Only this tme for good.

And The Mortons, of course.

Emmerdale -

Marlon Dingle - As ever this year, he's displayed some of the worst over acting ever. Ditch him! and don't feel guilty Emmerdale bosses. I'm sure he can get yearly panto work where his 'thespian' talents would be far more well suited.

[Joel]

Hollyoaks

I just need to lose one of my most hated McQeens. Tina or Mercedes, I don't mind which.

And Rubbish Tranny, of course, who will serve even less purpose than he did before once Kressica is over.

Bring back Countdown Boy, in his underwear. Cleansed of madness, he can make out with JP. A lot.

[georgie]

Cant believe no one has mentioned getting rid of BethBot yet. She must gooooo.

[Adrian]

quincymd said:

Corrie -

Rita - I even have it worked out so that itr will be the biggest soap surprise EVER!!!!!

You can't get rid of the Big Red Wig!

[Rooneyboy]

bittersweet said:

Marlon Dingle - As ever this year, he's displayed some of the worst over acting ever. Ditch him! and don't feel guilty Emmerdale bosses. I'm sure he can get yearly panto work where his 'thespian' talents would be far more well suited.

Indeed. My choice 100%.
Possibly the worst soap actor of all time.