Post by klee on Mar 19, 2007 14:58:58 GMT
Sienna Miller, rake thin chainsmoker plays, um, another rake thin chainsmoker as Edie Sedgwick, Andy Warhol's muse who went to the bad and died of a drug overdose at the age of 28.
Now, I went to see this (despite knowing it had been touched by the hand of bint) because the Factory scene which Edie inhabited is something that interests me.
Oh my goodness, it is BEYOND shit. In fact, it could be my new favourite bad film after Party Monster and Showgirls.
Scene 1
Enter Edie. Edie is wearing girlish clothes with her hair down, because at this point she is an innocent girl, with high-minded ideals
Edie – Squeaks I wanna go to New York. Twirls Imagine everything that’s going on there. Like Andy Warhol. He’s such a genius. He’s changing how we look at the world. Twirls again
Scene 2
Enter Edie. Wearing more sophisticated clothes because now she is in New York.
Edie – Squeaks I’m in New York! I can meet famous artists like Andy Warhol. He’s changing the way we view the world.
The Audience – My god, it’s two minutes in and already I want to kill her.
Edie – Smokes (Because now she is, like, sophisticated and sophisticated artistic people smoke like coal-fired power stations) You mean I can meet Andy Warhol at a party tonight? Oh my God, what do I wear?
Scene 3
Edie enters art gallery wearing leopard print. She thinks she’s fabulous, the gays in the audience think “Last Season!”.
Andy Warhol – Who is that rake thin chainsmoker with the Martini? I must love and then reject her in a callous, post-modern manner. Oh, do you like my wig? I got it from a Myra Hindley impersonator
Edie is surrounded by men in suits offering her cigarette lighters and dancing like she’s on the podium in Ready, Steady Go.
Half an hour of not much happening, more leopard print, cigarettes, drugs, dangly earrings...
Scene 40,000,002
Earnest arty type - Edie, there's someone I want you to meet
Edie - Talks really fast because she is on drugs and drugs are BAD!
Hayden Christiansen - Hi, I amfamous folk singer with name deleted from the film for legal reasons. I am here to tell that DRUGS ARE BAD and Andy is evil. I make my performance as Darth Vader Jnr look accomplished.
Edie - Kisses folk singer.
Sound of two blocks of wood knocking together
Edie - I love you, litigious folk singer but I LOVE DRUGS MORE
More drugs, Martinis, leopard print. Edie cuts her hair because she is a woman on the edge and this is what women on the edge do
Scene 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999
Andy Warhol having dinner with his decadent art friends.
Enter Edie on DRUGS
Edie - YOU FUCKED ME UP ANDY WARHOL!
Edie's mascara runs and she looks a bit like Emma Forbes
Edie goes into rehab and then dies in the most undignified way possible - an on-screen "Edie died aged 28" text message.
So there we have it.
Drugs fuck you up and make you look like Emma Forbes. They also make you kiss Hayden Christiansen. Do not do them, kids.
Now, I went to see this (despite knowing it had been touched by the hand of bint) because the Factory scene which Edie inhabited is something that interests me.
Oh my goodness, it is BEYOND shit. In fact, it could be my new favourite bad film after Party Monster and Showgirls.
Scene 1
Enter Edie. Edie is wearing girlish clothes with her hair down, because at this point she is an innocent girl, with high-minded ideals
Edie – Squeaks I wanna go to New York. Twirls Imagine everything that’s going on there. Like Andy Warhol. He’s such a genius. He’s changing how we look at the world. Twirls again
Scene 2
Enter Edie. Wearing more sophisticated clothes because now she is in New York.
Edie – Squeaks I’m in New York! I can meet famous artists like Andy Warhol. He’s changing the way we view the world.
The Audience – My god, it’s two minutes in and already I want to kill her.
Edie – Smokes (Because now she is, like, sophisticated and sophisticated artistic people smoke like coal-fired power stations) You mean I can meet Andy Warhol at a party tonight? Oh my God, what do I wear?
Scene 3
Edie enters art gallery wearing leopard print. She thinks she’s fabulous, the gays in the audience think “Last Season!”.
Andy Warhol – Who is that rake thin chainsmoker with the Martini? I must love and then reject her in a callous, post-modern manner. Oh, do you like my wig? I got it from a Myra Hindley impersonator
Edie is surrounded by men in suits offering her cigarette lighters and dancing like she’s on the podium in Ready, Steady Go.
Half an hour of not much happening, more leopard print, cigarettes, drugs, dangly earrings...
Scene 40,000,002
Earnest arty type - Edie, there's someone I want you to meet
Edie - Talks really fast because she is on drugs and drugs are BAD!
Hayden Christiansen - Hi, I am
Edie - Kisses folk singer.
Sound of two blocks of wood knocking together
Edie - I love you, litigious folk singer but I LOVE DRUGS MORE
More drugs, Martinis, leopard print. Edie cuts her hair because she is a woman on the edge and this is what women on the edge do
Scene 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999
Andy Warhol having dinner with his decadent art friends.
Enter Edie on DRUGS
Edie - YOU FUCKED ME UP ANDY WARHOL!
Edie's mascara runs and she looks a bit like Emma Forbes
Edie goes into rehab and then dies in the most undignified way possible - an on-screen "Edie died aged 28" text message.
So there we have it.
Drugs fuck you up and make you look like Emma Forbes. They also make you kiss Hayden Christiansen. Do not do them, kids.