A very naked man being very violent!

[audrey notwhatsheusedtobe]

It's the new David Cronenberg film, Eastern Promises! I thought we'd better have a thread as Paul and I are confusingly discussing it elsewhere.

Anyway – it's completely ace if you like extremely thick Russian accents and amazingly brutal violence. If your idea of a quality movie is just seeing Viggo Mortensen's knob flailing around on the big screen, you will not go home disappointed. Really, he should get some kind of special award for that. The naked fighting is just everything I want from a film.

I would have liked more Vincent Cassell action and was rather disappointed he didn't try to gay Viggo. Although his pole dance to Liberty X made up for it.

I used to think tattoos were rubbish, but I don't any more.

[pauliepoos]

Never in a million years would I go and see something like Hostel or Saw, but I don't mind Cronenberg films because even if there is horrific violence, it's shown as horrific violence.

Several times I looked away, at he bottom of the screen so could see what was happening but not in detail.

It's a very good thriller though, very satisfying. Naomi Watts looks hot in her biker leathers but not as hot as Viggo in his black pants.

[Devil In Your Car]

What's your take on big leather coats, though? I still think that they're a bit rubbish.

I thought this was very good but I wonder what all the Russian gangsters living in London make of it. That's if they have been to see it. They are probably too busy throwing amazing parties in swanky hotels where Liberty X turn up and pole-dance IN PERSON. Imagine that!

[audrey notwhatsheusedtobe]

pauliepoos said:

Naomi Watts looks hot in her biker leathers but not as hot as Viggo in his black pants.

I was a bit distracted by the fact that the subtitles were ran on top of Viggos black pants. I also found his cock very distracting during the fighting and may have to get the dvd. Did he actually break a guy's arm with a headbutt? I was worried he'd slip on the tiles.

Actually, I'll amend the thread title lest it be spoilerific.

devilinyourcar said:

What's your take on big leather coats, though? I still think that they're a bit rubbish.

I suppose the coats were a bit crap, but I kind of liked the really crap fashion and hair, especially Vincent's. I didn't like Viggo's shades.

Are you suggesting that Liberty X are more expensive than Russian prostitutes? I'm not so sure about that these days...

[Adrian]

What kind of sauna does this naked fighting take place in?

The local East End chariots?

[Devil In Your Car]

Apparently Joan Collins was discussing this on the Paul O'Grady show. I wonder if the fight scene reminded her of the time she almost pulled Linda Evans' hair out in that fishpond.

[latoyajunkie]

I have this to watch! Sounds exciting!

[audrey notwhatsheusedtobe]

adrian said:

What kind of sauna does this naked fighting take place in?

The local East End chariots?

Funnily enough I thought of you when they went into the sauna! It's no Holmes Place that's for sure. It's more of a Turkish Bath I think. They show the name of it when they go in. I wonder if nutters are now hanging round there looking for a fight?

[Robbing the Dead]

What's it actually about?

[Adrian]

audreyhorne said:

Funnily enough I thought of you when they went into the sauna!

Oh dear.

It's no Holmes Place that's for sure. It's more of a Turkish Bath I think. They show the name of it when they go in. I wonder if nutters are now hanging round there looking for a fight?

I'll watch, go there (if indeed it is in London), and report back.

[audrey notwhatsheusedtobe]

boydsbummerbuddy said:

What's it actually about?

Oh sorry, it's about Russian mafia guys in London, Naomi Watts, a dead girl's diary and a baby. The most interesting bit though is an amazing naked fight in a sauna (in case that wasn't obvious enough from this thread).

Adrian, try drawing some stars on your knees in biro and see what happens.

[Robbing the Dead]

Hmm, if the general tone of the film is anti-Russian, I may find it enjoyable.

[Adrian]

audreyhorne said:

Adrian, try drawing some stars on your knees in biro and see what happens.

Er, ok. But why?

[audrey notwhatsheusedtobe]

adrian said:

audreyhorne said:

Adrian, try drawing some stars on your knees in biro and see what happens.

Er, ok. But why?

To show that, like Viggo, you don't kneel before anyone.

Oh wait, that might be a bit counter-productive in a sauna situation.

[Essexgirl]

I actually dozed off watching htis - but the sauna scene soon woke me up

[Adrian]

I saw this last night. Wowsa.

I think these are the turkish baths - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ironmonger_Row_Baths

I may well go on a mission to ascertain the facts.

I did like Viggo's sharp suits too. And his tattoos. And his cock.

I would have liked some warning on the

SPOILER: Click to show

eye gouging

The ending was a bit rubbish too.

[pauliepoos]

I re-read the article about Eastern Promises in Empire a few weeks ago, and the sauna was built as a set, as the real life location they wanted to use was being refurbishmented.

And as I said in the Oscars 2008 thread, I'm thrilled that Viggo's got an Oscar nom for this. Maybe it'll encourage more hot thesps to get their cocks out for the plaudits.

[Adrian]

pauliepoos said:

I re-read the article about Eastern Promises in Empire a few weeks ago, and the sauna was built as a set, as the real life location they wanted to use was being refurbishmented.

Quel dommage. I now have no spurious reason to visit a sauna.

[audrey notwhatsheusedtobe]

I too am very pleased about the Oscar nom and Paul's prediction that actors will realise that extreme nudity reaps rewards. I have no idea whether the acting in Eastern Promises is even that great, Viggo just deserves an award for creating the genre of cock-out brilliant fighting with completely shocking bits.

[pauliepoos]

audreyhorne said:

I have no idea whether the acting in Eastern Promises is even that great...

He did an accent! That's proper acting. Eastern Promises has another run in the next couple of weeks at my arthouse cinema, so I think I'll pop to see it again.