Friendship Problem

[Deleted]

I typed a very long winded post, but then realised it really didn't need to be that long, so I've edited and am going to cut to the chase. Basically one of my oldest and closest friends has totally excluded me from her 21st birthday celebrations, and I'm fucked off royally. So after a week waiting for the invite I decided to be proactive and so I've just invited her to mine and got nothing, baring in mind that mine is 6 weeks after hers, and it's making me feel a bit like shit. To make matters worse she's invited a few people who she hasn't seen for years, literally years but has left out me. Now I don't want to have to talk to her about it as we have never had a fight or a problem between us in 15 years and I'm now pretty sure it's not just an oversight. It's basically just a bit of a pity rant, but any advice would be appreciated as I feel very poo at the moment. Thanks all.

[Rad]

Ask her what she's up to for her birthday. Then she'll either realise she forgot to invite you or will have to face the fact she's excluded you.

[FeelsLikeKellyCrabtree]

Is it possible that you've said or done something in the past in front of her mates that has embarrased her, or that you've caused rows with people and she just wants to avoid the confrontation?

If so then speak to her and try and assure her that it won't be like that.

[coxy1979]

It sounds very strange if you've not fallen out at all.

I know you don't want to talk to her and you say you haven't had a problem between the two of you for 15 years - but this obviously is a problem.

Hopefully, she just assumed you'd be there, so didn't bother with an invite.

[pauliepoos]

I agree with Rory, but just in case you didn't have a sash or man size cake at hand...

If she is one of your closest friends you should be able to talk to her about it. Inviting her to your party in the hope that she'll invite you to hers isn't being proactive, it's being passive aggressive and I should know because it's the sort of thing I'd do.

Even if you can't talk to her face to face, send her a text or message online and mention it. As Coxy said, it's possible that being such a close friend she doesn't feel she has to invite you.

[[james]]

Thirded. Me and my close circle having a running joke about not needing to invite each other to major things as it's 'implied'.

[Cherubic]

Does she have a boyfriend that hates you?

[Deleted]

feelslikesex said:

Is it possible that you've said or done something in the past in front of her mates that has embarrased her, or that you've caused rows with people and she just wants to avoid the confrontation?

If so then speak to her and try and assure her that it won't be like that.

I don't think so, I went away with her and her uni mates last year and it was fine. There's only one person I don't get on with but he's not going either. Meh, I'm going to speak to her and just be very laid back about the whole thing. Thanks.

[Deleted]

coxy1979 said:

It sounds very strange if you've not fallen out at all.

I know you don't want to talk to her and you say you haven't had a problem between the two of you for 15 years - but this obviously is a problem.

Hopefully, she just assumed you'd be there, so didn't bother with an invite.

This is very true but it will be at her new Uni house which I have no idea where it is, so unless she invites me, I'm a bit screwed. Thanks.

[Deleted]

cherubic said:

Does she have a boyfriend that hates you?

She has one but don't think he hates me. He may do, but I've only met him a few times and mostly he was playing gigs at the time.