Text 'Girl' to 80666

[Robbing the Dead]

I've been watching a lot of late-night TV lately, so have seen a lot of these type ads.

But there is one I love. It has people in a really rubbish looking club with some euro-trash music in the background. I want to go to that club!

[Joel]

I prefer the 'text Hub' ones, where you find out the initial of your future husband. Why you would need to subscribe to that service, I don't know.

And the lovematch one, where the girl throws the drink down the guy in the bar, because their names weren't a good lovematch match. Psycho bitch. And £4.50 a week!

[lockjawsghost]

texthub/lovematch has to be the best scam ever. charge someone £4.50 to send them a totally random initial/percentage.

[Robbing the Dead]

I saw one where it went along the lines of "Text 'girl' to get in contact with hot young women in your area. Text 'divorced' to meet sexy, more mature, divorced women in your area. Text 'older' to meet older, sophisticated ladies in your area."

[Muinimula]

Of all the advert spoofs in The Peter Serafinowicz Show, the chatline ones were the least funny.

The lovematch things are terrible. I wish they wouldn't keep putting them on music channels, as they obscure 1/3 of the screen with their meaninglessness.

[Robbing the Dead]

There is also the Baby name one, where you subscribe for £4.50 a week and get the perfect baby name sent to you. I just don't see why anyone would actually do this.

[boxedjoy]

Do you get a new text every week? Does your partner/"perfect love interest"/baby name change every week? Are we expected to keep up with it? Maybe I'm meant to be meeting a new guy every week, and as soon as I meet him I should be typing his name into my keypad. What is it based on?

Also, I've never seen a couple of the same gender on any of these things, apart from the ambigiously named ones like "Lesley and Taylor". Are homosexuals not entitled to finding out their perfect love match?

[Robbing the Dead]

Most of them are 3 per week. And yes they are different.

There are no homosexuals because we are generally not fucking thick enough to buy into this crap. I think it's mainly teenagers who use these services.

[Gordon]

"Too drunk to remember who you did it with last night? Text 'SLUT' to this number for the initial of his nickname."

I just hate how aggressively patronizing one of the voice-over ladies is.

[Joel]

boydsbummerbuddy said:

Most of them are 3 per week. And yes they are different.

There are no homosexuals because we are generally not fucking thick enough to buy into this crap. I think it's mainly teenagers who use these services.

Don't be too sure. I reckon if the service was available, there'd be plenty of, 'Oh my gawd! That guy I met in the G-A-Y bar was sooo hot and he bought me a Bacardi and Diet Coke, but I fink I should try again with Dwayne. I'll text 'Homo' to 88066 to find out!'

[pectinase]

My favourite sexy-text advert was one which cropped up on a couple of music/quizzy type channels a few months ago. It featured the roughest looking 'birds' ever, slathered in layers of slap, looking bored and pretending to text in their kitchen but looking like they're just waiting for their Pot Noodle to have boiled. The lighting looked like someone had just brought a lamp out of the living room. Amazing.

[Joel]

My new favourite one was the one I saw saying 'Christmas is coming, so pull yourself a cracker'. Which I saw on Saturday. OVer a week after Christmas.

[Steven]

boxedjoy said:

Also, I've never seen a couple of the same gender on any of these things, apart from the ambigiously named ones like "Lesley and Taylor". Are homosexuals not entitled to finding out their perfect love match?

I've seen a couple of non-ambiguously gay ones crop up before, but you generally have to be watching for about three hours to catch them.

[Robbing the Dead]

There is that sexual position one on the music channels. I've seen two male dolls bumming on it before.

[Deleted]

pandarama said:

boxedjoy said:

Also, I've never seen a couple of the same gender on any of these things, apart from the ambigiously named ones like "Lesley and Taylor". Are homosexuals not entitled to finding out their perfect love match?

I've seen a couple of non-ambiguously gay ones crop up before, but you generally have to be watching for about three hours to catch them.

Pat and Chris!!! Who then immiediately became my flatmate and I's lesbian alteregos. There were dolls with the right mouldings and everything.

[Robbing the Dead]

Oh my god! I saw the funniest ad ever. It's got some music that sounds a bit like the introduction to Mambo Number 5 and girls in their underwear bouncy up and down on those massive exercise balls. It's brilliant.

[als]

I was watching a music channel the other day and they had the stupid love match whatsit going on at the bottom, but randomly during just one song, a slew of gay couples with some strange names came up, including:
Englebert and Nathen
Jerry and Orlando
Craig and Darryn
Dafdd and Malachy

Then there were a couple of lesbians:
Lucella and Miriam
Jacki and Crammie

And finally some really really strange names (or just wierdly spelt more normal ones), making it hard to decide what the hell most of their genders were:
Nivio and Shalenda
Charlot and Frederic
Sanchez and Jazeet

I suspect that a fair few of these were made up to fill gaps in actual people texting in.
I'm quite impressed I remembered all of them! (Obviously putting my brain to good use.)

[[james]]

My favourite one is when the post-op looking girls are in a 'pub', making eyes at some guys at the next table then text in to the matchmaking service. Are they hoping they'll strike lucky and get those very guys' numbers? Are they going to keep texting until they get them despite it being easier just to talk to them in person?

[Deleted]

jbugle said:

My favourite one is when the post-op looking girls are in a 'pub', making eyes at some guys at the next table then text in to the matchmaking service. Are they hoping they'll strike lucky and get those very guys' numbers? Are they going to keep texting until they get them despite it being easier just to talk to them in person?

I think that we can safely assume that if they are using such a service then they aren't going to be within the upper echelons of intellectual society.