Completely Ace Lyrics

[audrey notwhatsheusedtobe]

While the calamitous lyrics thread is very chortlesome, I can never remember bad lyrics, only ace ones, like...

"It was the biggest cock you'd ever seen,
But you've no idea where that cock has been."
- Packs of Three by Arab Strap

"God made man,
But a monkey supplied the glue."
- Jocko Homo by Devo

And all of Love Machine by The Aloud.

[thelovelykate]

Off the top of my head all of 'Fake Tales of San Francisco' by the Artic Monkeys is genius but especially:

"Yeah but his bird says it's amazing
So then all that's left
Is the proof that love's not only blind but deaf."

Also commendations to Nelly with 'Hot in Here' and his genius use of the word 'heathens'.

[Nurse Dunkley]

Ooh good thread. I'll second Love Machine (and a few other Aloud songs).

I love the lyrics to Cartoon Heroes by Aqua. They go hand in hand wonderfully with how they're sung.

www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/aqua/cartoonheroes.html


Also, Nan You're A Window Shopper by Lily Allen is increible:

"You only buy the paper just to cut out the coupons
You're saving 50p but what do you want with tampons?"

"I walk into your kitchen everything's got a label
You've done your Christmas shopping and we're only in April
And you won't leave your house unless you're wearing your thermals
You're covered all in cat hair and you're stinking like strepsils"

"You've got a leak in your colostomy bag"

etc...

[jerriblank]

While not groundbreaking, I can't help but *heart* the lyrics of Racy Lacey by The Aloud:

She's made seduction a work of art
A PhD with her legs apart
She's got dreamy eyes and little lips
She's got undulating grundulating grinding hips

Also I used to love the last lines of Unbreak My Heart by Toni Braxton purely because it sounds like she's singing "Sage and Onion"

[Nurse Dunkley]

jerriblank said:

Also I used to love the last lines of Unbreak My Heart by Toni Braxton purely because it sounds like she's singing "Sage and Onion"

I have similar love for Celine Dion's I believe that the hot dogs go on.

[Bridgey]

Right, now we're on the brilliantly misheard lyrics digression, I bring you 'I'm the leading man, and I'm also evil and also into cats' from This ain't a scene, it's a god damn arms race.

Patrick Stump could sing about obscure Doctor Who plot line motifs and no-one would make them out...

Bridgey xxx

[MoondialSlater]

Presumably he also wrote the lyrics for the Frosties advert.

[pauliepoos]

I know you carry on behind my back/with your secretary, you'll have a heart attack

[bittersweet]

From the !2" version of 'Bedsitter' by Soft Cell.

"Do you look a mess?
Do you have a hangover?
Did you overdo the lemonade
Cut short on the soda?
Did you do that dance the doctor
Told you that you shouldn't do?
But you're only young
You should do that dance twice over
I knew it's pretty early
But you still look great
Just ready for the beauty
That the make up will create
Take a little blusher
Take a little paint
Put on the silver dress
The one that makes the young boys faint
I'm sitting on my bed
And I'm looking at the time
Have a cup of coffee
And you're feeling fine
Put on that new record
That you bought the other day
The words will make you smile
You can dance the dust away
Make your single bed
And push the tea leaves down the drain
Take a long deep breath
And start the nightlife over again!"

[Steven]

I've recently become fond of the "I took a Louisville Slugger to both headlights" line from Carrie Underwood's 'Before He Cheats'. There's something very satisfying about it.

Also, the whole of Amy Winehouse's 'Fuck Me Pumps' is excellent, but I have a particular love for "You can't sit down right/'Cos your jeans are too tight/And you're lucky it's ladies' night/With your big empty purse/Every week it gets worse/At least your breasts cost more than hers".

And in the misheard lyrics department, my friend once thought that one of the lines to Alanis Morisette's 'Ironic' was "it's a desperate hard-on, two minutes too late". I like that version better.

[Tacye Marley]

Once I learn a misheard lyric then that's it, even when I know the correct one I won't sing it. See 'Cornflake-Big mistake' from Love Machine. I now have an image of Nicola enacting an elaborate revenge on some man because she hates cornflakes.

As for favourite lyrics, I like pretty much anything by The Dresden Dolls, especially Dirty Buisness.

'She's the kind of girl who gets her slings and arrows from the dumpster
The kind who tells you she's bipolar just to make you trust her
She's the kind of girl who leaves out condoms on the bedroom dresser
To make you jealous of the men she fucked before you met her'

[al]

Much as I dislike both Mariah Carey and her music, props must go to the lyric "them chickens is ash and I'm lotion".

The sentiment! The arrogance! The use of the words "chickens", "ash" and "lotion", none of them in their correct context! The fucking abysmal grammar! Amazing stuff.

Could also be a contender for Worst Lyrics for all the same reasons, mind.

[[james]]

I'm permantly mishearing songs. For ages I thought Sugababes 'Push The Button' had the line "I wonder if he knows that he can say it and I'm wet" and I was shocked and/or appalled at Keisha being a dirty bitch.

Some of my more mature-minded friends sometime sing "This ain't a scene, it's a god-damn arse rape" ...I need new friends.

[xenomaniac]

I love It's Your Duty by Lene

Handcuff up your boss
yeah be rough
he me might like it like that
He'll get a rise, you'll get a raise
Don't tell his wife about it

[Rad]

jbugle said:

Some of my more mature-minded friends sometime sing "This ain't a scene, it's a god-damn arse rape" ...I need new friends.

...who watch less Hollyoaks.

[Steven]

A random listen has reminded me how thoroughly awesome the lyrics to 'Nasty Girl' by Destiny's Child are. Some examples:

Shakin' that thang, on that man, lookin' all stank and nasty
Swear you look cute, girl in them dukes, booty all out looking trashy
Sleazy put some clothes on, I told ya, don't walk out yo' heezy without clothes on, I told ya

These men don't want no hot female that's been around the block female, you nasty girl

Booty all out, tongue out her mouth, cleavage from here to Mexico

Seriously, bitchiest song ever.

[somethingbiblical]

I love the lyrics to Rosé by The Feeling, especially "The white to your left, the red to your right, are all that I'd seen". Never thought you could write such a pretty song about a bottle of Rosé wine.

[thelovelykate]

I love the lyrics to the completely bizarre 'Look Good in Leather' by Cody ChesnuTT, in particular:

I can make any woman mine
Because I look good in leather
I can rock her body so good it blows her mind
Because I know how to fuck her better -
Better than you

Got you wishing to
Be just like me

[Nurse Dunkley]

From Joseph, when he's interpreting Pharoah's dream to be about Egypt's crop supplies:

All those things you saw in your pyjamas
were a long term forecast for your farmers

[Tacye Marley]

If we're going for Joseph, 'It takes a man who knows no fear to wrestle with a goat'. How true these words are, even today.

[fused]

'Ladder In My Tights' by Amy Studt had very funny lyrics:

Just one more word and I'm gonna explode,
I'm gonna self combust,
I'm gonna blow up the world.
Just one more look,
You're gonna cross the line,
I mean over the edge,
You're on thin black ice.

and

If I just had a little more time,
I'd get some c4 and dynamite,
Oh if I just had a little more time:
I'd show you the world is so much better when you find you don't fit,
There's a ladder in your tights

'Don't Marry Her' by The Beautiful South is remembered mostly for the swearing, but I always liked these lines from it:

And your love life shines like cardboard
But your work shoes are glistening
She's a PhD in "I told you so"
You've a knighthood in "I'm not listening"

[somethingbiblical]

Yes, Don't Marry Her wins "most disgusting use of the word 'sweaty' lyrical award.

[Muinimula]

One favourite of mine has always been:
"You can't expect your kids to turn out fine when you're playing with matches."

...which is from You Do Something To Me by Dum Dums. I don't really know why, but I do like it.

[pauliepoos]

I was reminded last night of the brilliance of Dubstar's The Day I See You Again:

I'll tell you straight as we undress that things got better when you left, and though I've banned your name since then I'll call it with my dying breath

[FeelsLikeKellyCrabtree]

I always think that

Do you keep yourself warm with the bridges you're burning?

from Geri's Loving Me Back to Life is a really cool lyric