I <3 Hollyfiction

[Joel]

The one I linked to above is getting SO good.

Jess's mum has just been murdered, giving rise to this:

JESS:: KRIS! MY MOTHER HAS JUST BEEN KILLED OKAY SO SHUT THE F**K UP!
kris: omg jess im soo sory

jess cries evenv more
Kris: Awww Come Here

Kris Cuddles Jess As She Sobs InTo His Jess He Strokes Her Hair Kris``Eyes Fill Upo As He Kisses Her Head. She Burrows Her Haid Into His Cheat Will Everything Change? Find Out When I Get Back From Spain...

Best. Fanfic. Ever.

[Steven]

It certainly didn't end well the last time I burrowed my haid into someone's cheat.

[Deleted]

But it may change after a short jaunt to Spain.

[LoveMusic]

'when i come back from Spain'

I think i saw her at the pool, crying because she failed GCSE English.

[MoondialSlater]

camdenpirate said:

But it may change after a short jaunt to Spain.

"I Think Im Gunna Quit Coz Its Not Very Good "

Should we convince her to carry on?

The worrying thing is that with pass rates so high there's a good chance she didn't fail GCSE English.

[Joel]

She's carried on!
So the guy that killed Jess's mum comes and pushes Jess out a window, then Jess goes into a coma for three and half years so all her friends just abandon her and leave her there, and then she wakes up and is all ZOMG where is my frendz gon?

[[james]]

If I was in a coma, I don't think I'd be surprised if I woke up not to find anyone there. I don't like the thought of a 24-hour vigile around my bedside for when I eventually come to and they can discover the extent of brain damage (or worse, not notice). Also, it's not callous for her friends to spend the next 1000 days not sitting on hard plastic chairs incase she wakes up, they have wacky money-making schemes to come up with and rapes to do and/or recieve.

...why am I trying to find logic in Hollyfiction? It's like when people acted surprised when they recieve bad news on Jeremy Kyle. He didn't invite you there for a cuppa and a chocolate Hobnob, fools.

[LoveMusic]

I would need the thought of a 24/7 vigil to keep me going if i was in a coma, with people keeping me up to date on celebrity gossip, telling me how thin i look and making coma jokes.

[Steven]

I hope there was an extensive paragraph on Jess's bedsores.

[Elly]

I stupidly just read Barnsey/Ste porn at the Nifty archive. I don't think I'll ever feel clean again.

"For whatever reason, Mike kissed Ste. Ste was too shocked to do much of anything, but Mike's body against his felt good. Ste had to be so careful with Amy, but Mike was like him, all man."

I can't actually bring myself to quote the bit where Mike sniffs Ste's underwear.

[jamiek]

Thanks for that quote...I am now no longer able to eat the Bolognaise my Mum has been looking forward to feeding me all week.

I don't know how to explain it to her...

[Joel]

elly said:

I stupidly just read Barnsey/Ste porn at the Nifty archive. I don't think I'll ever feel clean again.

"For whatever reason, Mike kissed Ste. Ste was too shocked to do much of anything, but Mike's body against his felt good. Ste had to be so careful with Amy, but Mike was like him, all man."

I can't actually bring myself to quote the bit where Mike sniffs Ste's underwear.

I just tracked that down. Did one of us write it?

I mean:

"That was exactly what happened one day. Ste was ironing and Mike nearly tripped over the cord. "Watch it, you bloody Vulcan!""

and

"Mike had shaved off his silly mullet during the time Ste was away,"

[joshjones]

I once read a McDean/Torchwood crossover where Ianto (or as he was known in the story, Ianto Jones-Harkness) somehow got his mind put into Craig's body, and Craig somehow got his mind put into Ianto's body. The Torchwood liasion living in Hollyoaks was Elliot. The story was unfinished. I wonder if there were any upcoming chapters where Owen showed up in the Oaks and started raping (spray!rape!) people.

[Steven]

(Is it wrong that I quite want to read that?)

[joshjones]

The idea was more fun than the execution. The execution was something like Craig starts saying he's Ianto, then someone from Torchwood tells them about the switch, John Paul is upset. My favorite moment was when Jack said they'd better hurry because he was going to want to have sex with Ianto soon even if Craig was in Ianto's body. Then John Paul said the same about Ianto in Craig's body. That was the last chapter.

The story was on an LJ. I can't remember which one. I do remember the LJ had another story where John Paul's friendship with Rapeboat made him lust after Warren. Warren figured out JP wanted him and they had sex on the couch while Rapeboat was upstairs in her room (maybe she thought they were moving furniture).

[Feral]

Ste had to be so careful with Amy, but Mike was like him, all man.

Only in the fucked-up world of Hollyfiction could Ste ever be described as "all man"…